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Corruption of Justice

In 2019, the Utrecht home of the author of this book was attacked, followed by a display of absurdly profound corruption of the judiciary.

Why? History shows a trail of corruption of Justice that has followed the author since 2002.

A corrupt judge who was protected, life-threatening physical abuse and literally tons of fraud with a PGB and disability benefit.

Followed by ignoring the injustice and an attempt at slander...


Chapter Index 

Childhood YearsChapter 1.
My Parents' Divorce PeriodChapter 2.
Crime by my parents and a corrupt judgeChapter 3.
Forced first escapeChapter 4.
Confinement in an isolation cellChapter 5.
Confirmation of my storyChapter 6.
Return to parentsChapter 7.
I Love the Netherlands projectChapter 8.
Critical philosophical blog Zielenknijper.nlChapter 9.
Relocation to UtrechtChapter 10.
Threat of a police raidChapter 11.
Attack on my home by JusticeChapter 12.
Absurdities in a student houseChapter 13.
Underhand threat in UtrechtChapter 14.
Exemplary function of the governmentChapter 15.
Paranormal ExperiencesChapter 16.
Paranormal dream of the future as a childChapter 17.
Departure from UtrechtChapter 18.
Reconnected with my brotherChapter 19.
Long stay in hotelChapter 20.
EpilogueChapter 21.


What once started with corruption of Justice, ended with much more corruption of Justice.

My parents committed a premeditated crime in 2002 when I was 18 years old, in association with a corrupt judge. As a result, I lost my hitherto good life.

It turned out that it was not the injustice that was a priority for Justice, but the protection of a corrupt judge. As a result, I faced more serious corruption from the judiciary including attempts to inflict serious injury on me.

In 2019 I had to deal with a mysterious attack on my home in the city Utrecht, the Netherlands that destroyed all my personal belongings and that left me quite ill for two weeks. There was violence and serious threats, even from the Legal Counsel, and the local police tried to intimidate me.

What happened in 2019 was no longer just caused by the corrupt judge that it started with. Justice had meanwhile become an enemy for several other reasons.

For example, I had helped to expose pedophilia within Justice while I owned a social media platform with 500,000 readers in the Netherlands.

Photo © NRC Handelsblad

I discovered that sweet old lady Yvonne Keuls was spat in the face on the street by law enforcement officers and verbally threatened by the public prosecutor when she tried to have a pedophile judge prosecuted. At one point, the woman did not dare to leave her house for three months because of the threats.

Yvonne Keuls

Volkskrant: ‘It is an absolute injustice what happened’

While pedo-porn photos were taken in the Hague Palace of Justice, Justice looked the other way. And not the pedophile judge, but whistleblower Yvonne Keuls was slandered and threatened. Charges against the judge were dropped.

The judge (Theo Reub) was never prosecuted and was allowed to retire early while Yvonne Keuls was faced with threats.

The Minister of Justice was involved. It is already the 4th pedosexual judge to be protected by his colleagues and Justice in recent years.

Yvonne: “Minister of Justice Opstelten, who has always protected the pedo judge Joris Demmink in a striking manner, was a friend of the judge.

I was reviled for suing a juvenile court judge as a whistleblower. It was apparently irrelevant that in the meantime it was someone who had committed the highest form of abuse of power against children.

As editor-in-chief of the critical philosophical initiative Zielenknijper.nl, I dealt with the subject of forensic psychiatry (TBS), which made justice an intellectual enemy as well.

When a group of authoritative lawyers in the Netherlands decided to boycott the TBS measure because of 'arbitrariness by psychiatrists' that often formed the basis of the measure, the critical blog ensured that that fact would receive publicity for years.

Following a piece of advice I once gave to an American politician, this book is not meant to fight against injustice or an evil party, but to fight for something that can be said to be ‘good’.


After reading the book True North by the new ‘father of leadership’ Bill George, I was inspired to convert what had happened into a concept that aimed to turn what had happened into something good, which would eventually lead to a concept for nature conservation, butterflyGMOdebate.org

Evil has been turned into good.

However, the question that has remained: what was the true background to the role of Justice in the situation?

Although I can acquiesce in the thought that ‘evil’ lends itself to protecting nature against GMO (eugenics on nature) for which I am willing to personally have a little less ease in life, it seems another explanation must be sought for the role of Justice.

  1. I was unnaturally intimidated by the police.

  2. In its response, the Legal Counsel sent a threatening email from a psychiatric patient, which must have been technically impossible.

  3. The head of the municipal police service Enforcement Utrecht seemed to protect the landlord. While the police chief looked on, the landlord committed various absurd and illegal acts, including a violent trespassing for which a police report was filed.

  4. Without cause, the landlord confessed to me that an absurd false suspicion and threat of a police raid in 2018 had not come from himself but from ‘people at the municipality’. He also wrote in his confession that he had come to admire me.

    While a municipal police chief is watching at that moment, the landlord then commits the same false suspicion and threat of a police raid again. That was absurd behavior.

    The landlord is an engineer so he must have known what he was doing.

    There seems to be no explanation for what the landlord did other than trying to make clear that people from the Municipal Police (Justice) were responsible for the attack on my home.

  5. The court illogically sided with the violent landlord who had destroyed all my personal belongings and who had committed various illegal acts.

    Even a relocation allowance according to the official standard was rejected. The damage to my contents was over $30,000 and I was ordered to pay the landlord thousands of dollars in legal fees while I lost my home.

Details in chapters:

Personal background 

When I was 16 years old I chose as internet name ‘SaintJJ’ which I later shortened to ‘Snt’. I saw myself as spiritually gifted at that age, which explains my natural interest in moral philosophy.

After primary school I was allowed to go to the Gymnasium and I auditioned at the conservatory for the instrument piano. I associated with intellectually educated people, and my best friends' parents often held top positions in business or academic life. My friends' parents regularly commented on my talent for reasoning.

My natural talent turned out to be philosophy, the gaining of a deep understanding, both psychologically and in other aspects, although I never thought of it that way as a child. It was a natural interest.

Only later, when a childhood friend mentioned the philosopher Spinoza as an inspiring person on his Facebook profile, then I started to delve into philosophy and I was inspired to focus more on it.

It resulted in a self-study philosophy at a later age and it soon became apparent that philosophy can be regarded as an intellectual pioneer whose task is to explore untrodden intellectual paths.

There appeared to be vast unexplored intellectual areas.

For example, Albert Einstein once wrote the following prophecy about exploring a world of meaning beyond the reach of science for which to this day no philosophical method is available and for which the scientific method is unsuitable.

“Perhaps... we must also give up, by principle, the space-time continuum,” he wrote. “It is not unimaginable that human ingenuity will some day find methods which will make it possible to proceed along such a path. At the present time, however, such a program looks like an attempt to breathe in empty space.”

Within Western philosophy, the realm beyond space has traditionally been considered a realm beyond physics — the plane of God’s existence in Christian theology. In the early eighteenth century, philosopher Gottfried Leibniz’s “monads” — which he imagined to be the primitive elements of the universe — existed, like God, outside space and time. His theory was a step toward emergent space-time, but it was still metaphysical, with only a vague connection to the world of concrete things.

I discovered that with the rise of science, philosophy was increasingly suppressed, which meant that morality was also suppressed and in 2022 has become underdeveloped.

There appeared to be a lot of room for innovation and intellectual pioneering in the field of fundamental philosophy and morality that matched my personal abilities and interests.

Business ambitions 

I knew early on that I wanted to start my own business and I had big ambitions. I grew up at a time when later greats like Bill Gates were just beginning to realize their business ambitions.

I am the founder of several online projects, including an I Love City marketing platform that reached 500,000 readers and an international platform for the promotion of clean transport that is visited weekly from more than 174 countries.

Before falling victim to the crime committed by my parents in 2002, I was setting up an international payment provider.

In 2002 I would be the first in the Netherlands to offer paid SMS services in collaboration with a business partner in the UK. Paid SMS became very big in the Netherlands.

The international payment provider would have operated similarly to the now well-known Stripe.com and could be compared to PayPal in terms of innovation potential.

Six years before Bitcoin existed I was working on a concept to realize a digital currency (cryptocurrency) that I planned to call Matter™.

Crime by my parents and a corrupt judge 

In February 2002, I was the victim of a crime committed by my parents in association with a corrupt judge. Then for years an attempt by Justice to protect the corrupt judge, which would eventually cause me to lose several vital years of life in captivity in an isolation cell, while I had to deal with serious abuse.

Details in chapter:

I had never done anything wrong and I have always cooperated during 'without cause' arrests by the police. I have always remained respectful and polite in contact.

About 2004 when one day I was arrested again 'just like that' and told the judge my story about the crime committed by my parents in association with a corrupt judge, the judge took it personally for me and acquitted me (denied a judicial authorization) and thereby acknowledged the story about the corrupt judge.

Two weeks after the judge had acquitted me and confirmed my story about the corrupt judge, I was arrested by the police 'without reason' when I was calling in a green PTT house.

An unusual court session followed with three judges who had me taken to Eindhoven (150 km away) where I was locked up in an isolation cell for 8 months and where I was also physically abused, until I called my parents for help, after which I was released within two weeks and stayed at their home.

There was no reason for the 8 months solitary confinement. The 8 months isolation cell went against the verdict of another judge who had acquitted me two weeks before that confinement. It was clearly an attempt to harm me because of the corrupt judge my parents had used to have me imprisoned in 2002.

The judge my parents had worked with in 2002 to get me locked up was required by law to see me while I never saw the judge and it involved an unauthorized nurse and not a psychiatrist - which is illegal - which the judge must have known. The lawyer also acted wrong according to another lawyer.

I knew nothing about the plans of my parents to have me locked up. My parents didn't even slip a letter under my door and there was a personal conversation in the living room shortly before the lockup in which my parents told me nothing about their plans which proves that they deliberately organized it behind my back. My father behaved as if he had something to hide during that conversation and he could not look me in the eye.

The psychiatric lockup in 2002 was illegal and therefore a crime. One morning - all of the sudden and without warning - 10 cops broke into my room while I was still asleep and pushed me onto a stretcher.

Details in chapters:

Fraud with PGB and disability benefit 

My parents committed fraud with Personal Budget (PGB) and disability benefit of more than 200,000 Euro.

In 2022, my parents denied to know anything about the fraud and used illogical lies. They even denied having applied for the PGB and benefits.

We have NOT applied for disability benefit for you and the PGB also passed us by. That accusation has been wrongly brought before us. This is an example of what's wrong.

It was requested for you at the time, but Dad and I didn't want it for you, so we quickly canceled it. If it still went through through that other person, then we don't know.

The lying about the PGB and disability benefit fraud was a real threat to me.

A man once told that my father had told him to "act crazy" when the inspector visited, to secure his PGB and disability benefits, which is a crime. The man worked as a horse farrier and from appearance he was a very happy person with whom nothing was wrong.

There is evidence that my parents are involved in shady practices and those who participate in it for PGB or benefit income are criminals.

The persistent lying and the victim role as if there were an 'unreasonable accusation' could be dangerous if they communicate that to the criminals who depend on shady practices for a PGB or benefit.

In 2022 my mother proposed to confess and asked if everything would be okay again. I immediately took the opportunity and wrote a confession for her.

Unfortunately, my mother backed out. She asked to remove the signing position for my father because he didn't want to cooperate and she said she was afraid of revenge.

No revenge, you write, it looks very different.

My mother wouldn't sign the confession.

It's about tons of money that my parents stole over my back.

Shortly before the application, I heard my parents discuss that they needed the money to pay the mortgage. There was no PGB care.

The fact that my parents wanted to declare me insane in order to enforce the PGB and disability benefit through the courts against my will shows that they used the PGB and benefit for themselves.

At the time of the application I was really making tens of thousands of euros per month through Google. I did not need benefits and I was not incapacitated for work. So it really is about fraud and the money was used by my parents.

Only my father had access to the bank account to which the disability benefits was paid. That proves that my parents are lying.

At the time of the application I was sick and weak from 8 months solitary cell torture and the assaults that I had to endure. I could not verbally avert the threat of a declaration of insanity. My parents took advantage of the situation.

There was no justification for the PGB and disability benefits fraud against my will and under threat while I earned tens of thousands of euros via Google and demonstrably wasn't disabled and didn't need any benefits.

When I reported fraud a part of the PGB was reclaimed on my name and I was treated as a criminal by the Government while my parents have received the money and slowly paid the reclaimed amount in three years time through my name. What my parents did continues to cause harm to me.

The persistent lying by my parents have forced me to publish about their fraud through this ebook in an attempt to counter the threat that they cause for me with their lying.

My parents are developing a large estate and have larger financial interests. Therefore the denial of their crimes is a more serious threat for me on the longer term. I have no idea how many people depend on a PGB or disability benefit through shady practices, but I do know a number of people who have felt very uncomfortable with the practice in their name despite the money it brought them. There is simply a risk as long as my parents keep lying.

I have always treated my parents with respect and decency. Not once has there been anger or emotions towards them in recent communication. The publication about their fraud was a necessity because of the threat my parents were causing by their lies.

I made it unable for my parents to deny what they have done in such a way that my mother even proposed to confess in 2022, and then they tried to end contact via email. In the beginning of 2023 it became clear that the publication of the book about their fraud hadn't helped and that my parents continued to lie as if they were untouchable. That reaffirmed the threat that my parents could cause for me on the longer term.

Being honest should have been a more easy choice for my parents that could have prevented the publication of this book. I don't know why my parents persist with their illogical lying which is an act of profound disrepsect towards me but it simply causes a threat situation that I need to address.

I have acted to the best of my knowledge and ability to settle the situation properly. The publication of the book was a last choice in two years time!

Details in chapters:

The start of Zielenknijper.nl 

Although after my parents' crime I considered to leave the Netherlands and leave the injustice as it was, and possibly hire a lawyer or journalist later when I had recovered financially to obtain justice, a turn of events resulted in the decision to stay in the Netherlands and to start a critical philosophical initiative.

The decision to stay in the Netherlands and to deploy myself came after I had contact with members of the House of Representatives to terminate a PGB and disability benefit that my parents had applied for in my name against my will and under threat. After that contact I got the feeling that I should commit myself in the interest of the well-being of others, which I did.

At the time, the father of a friend who is the CEO of one of the largest media companies in the Netherlands advised me to start a blog.

A girl with a depression with whom I had contact on a forum had advised me to contact people from the House of Representatives and she also formed a motivation. In contact with the girl, a line of reasoning arose that would later form the basis for the critical philosophical initiative Zielenknijper.nl:

“If life were to be good as it was, there would be no reason to exist.”

The critical blog Zielenknijper.nl was regularly quoted by members of the House of Representatives and by major newspapers such as de Volkskrant and NOS.nl.

Many journalists have encouraged me and offered to help. This sometimes involved journalists from major newspapers such as NRC Handelsblad.

Purpose of the book 

Through this book I provide an insight into my personal history, the crime my parents committed in 2002 in collaboration with a corrupt judge and the corruption of Justice that would later increasingly follow.

Above all, the purpose of this book is to help prevent others from experiencing injustice.


Chapter 1 

Childhood Years

When I was about 2 years old I traveled with my parents to Austria where we visited a farmer's wife high in the mountains who owned an even higher wooden mountain hut in which we would stay.

I was so small that I was not yet big enough to see above the seat of the couch on the wall. I was lifted onto the couch and then I watched a black and white broadcast on a small TV hanging from the ceiling. It was a romantic story about a knight protecting a princess. The experience would be pivotal in my romantic perspective on life and it resulted in a search for true love. I searched for a long time for a similar film that I later found partly in, for example, The Neverending Story.

I grew up in a wooded area and I was very independent.

My father was a businessman and had a forestry business that operated in Germany. My mother was a housewife.

I knew early on that I wanted to start my own business. I was technically, mathematically and musically gifted. I auditioned at the conservatory for the instrument piano.

I could easily make friends and I had many real friends from different backgrounds.

I was into computers early on and I had several friends with whom I hung out related to computers. That was in the time when computers were new, so I experienced the evolution of the computer from up close.

My first computer was an Atari game console that worked with cassette tapes. Later, the first 286 PC with Microsoft DOS and a green monochrome screen followed.

My first computers: an Atari cassette player and its successor

At a friend's house whose father worked at the technical organization KEMA and with whom I regularly demolished equipment to explore the parts, I had already become acquainted with the first Apple computer.

As a child, my bedroom had various electrical fabrications and inventions such as a homemade security system. I played a lot with Lego when I was young.

As a child I was selfless and focused on the well-being of others. Money that I obtained was not spent on myself but on gifts for family and friends. That led to an important lesson once when I gave my best friend an expensive model car from his favorite car brand Ferrari for no reason. When my friend returned a model car from my favorite car brand Mercedes-Benz it became clear that my gift, although well intentioned, had made my friend feel that he was obligated to return a gift of equal value.

I went to many different primary schools.

In group 5 there was talk for some time that I was allowed to skip a class, but when only a classmate and school friend with an older age was allowed to do so, I decided to go to another school.

When I went to a new primary school from group 6, I was briefly bullied. On the first day, without being aware of anything, I drew a swastika in my notebook that made the teacher effusively emotional, sad and angry. That may have caused me to be bullied. However, it soon recovered after the older brother of the classmate who was bullying me was expelled from school. Later I befriended the classmate who bullied me and a friend of his bigger brother who once stood up for me when I was bullied became one of my best friends.

The teacher's reaction to the swastika has always stayed with me. At several schools I've attended, there have been more teachers who, in their own way, have imparted an emotionally powerful lesson regarding the seriousness of what happened during the Holocaust, which in hindsight I have found very valuable.

I was not a diligent student in primary school, but more of the Cartman type. I was thick and heavily built. As an example, in group 8 (last class in primary school) I was sent back to group 3 (toddler class) for a day.

In group 8 I initially sat alone in class and later I was allowed to sit at the table of the most beautiful girls and, among other things, participated in writing stories by passing on an agenda.

Although I was not diligent, I was allowed to go to the Gymnasium, as well as two of my friends from the class. Although my friends went to Gymnasium, I chose another school because I was not interested in Latin.

My vision was that I would not need any education because I wanted to start my own business and because the internet would be a source of knowledge. Bill Gates, for example, also did not complete any education before starting his own company (in the US one in eight billionaires did not complete education).

In my high school, there was a large annual financial budget for sports and music, so those classes were of high quality. The music classroom contained the latest musical equipment worth many hundreds of thousands of guilders and the lesson often started with watching a broadcast of TMF (Dutch MTV). The school also provided training for elite athletes.

I quickly made new friends at the school. I eventually became friends with many different groups at the school.

I became a gabber with a bald head and Australian clothes. When I was 15 years old I attended with a group of friends one of the first Thunderdome house parties in Antwerp in 1997. The father of one of my best friends owned a large media company that organized house parties so that I could often join through VIP tickets.

At the new school I remained the Cartman type. I played hooky a lot, the notes folder was full of my name and a teacher once walked out of the class upset after I cut his name out of paper and put it on the projector 'just for fun'. He resigned as a teacher that day. In retrospect, the teacher turned out to be a bestselling author who may have wanted to focus on his writing.

One day when I was walking down the school hallway and someone kicked a can in my face, I challenged him to fight it out in the school yard after school. After school I stood in the school yard waiting with half the school behind me. The one with whom I had an argument did not dare to come out and was later accompanied by two janitors after which one of my best friends mediated between us so that we shook hands. Later I met the person with whom I had an argument while on holiday in Salou and he embraced me with expression of friendship.

There were teachers who tried to motivate me to take the study seriously. Once when I had homework tutoring and then got an A+ when my classmates didn't get high grades, the teacher came up to me and passionately tried to motivate me to study.

Several years later, I was expelled from school because I never learned and spent most of my time socializing with friends.

At a new secondary school I got a new chance and I was allowed to start in VWO, the highest variant in the secondary educational system. Also at this school I quickly made new friends with whom I mainly played truant. One of the friends who later became one of my best friends wrote a truant note for me every day and I for him.

There was no crime or drug and alcohol abuse during truancy.

The father of one of my closest friends, with whom I spent most of the time hanging out, owned a large company that played a role in keeping peace and tranquility in an area of the city. We often found ourselves on an attic floor of what was a kind of castle within the city with professional music equipment and with different people from the neighborhood almost every day.

Although there was crime in the area and one day a bullet hole had appeared in the attic window, the family's position was aimed at maintaining peace and keep calm with everyone from a friendly and just position and in cooperation with the police.

The friend often called me ‘privileged kid’ using a Dutch cultural reference (‘kakker’) which reflects how he viewed my social position at the time, although during each time that he called me that, there was a sort of dispute as to whether that word could apply to me because I thought of myself to have a tougher type of appearance. I introduced him and his younger brother to my friends from my old school, and parties and gatherings started between the friends. For example, one day a large TV projector that was very exclusive in the 90s was combined with the attic of another friend's house, which is one of the largest and most expensive houses in the city, and where the newly formed group watched Dutch MTV (TMF) music videos.

At the time, I had plans with that friend from the big house to start a company with Linux computers. At that time he was ideologically involved with the Linux operating system and he had, among other things, a Silicon Graphix super computer with the Irix operating system as a desktop PC, which was very expensive at the time.

Although I was actually a Microsoft person and got into intense discussions with the friend in which I defended Microsoft, the idea of selling Linux PCs seemed like a commercially plausible idea. I discovered a new PC store in the city whose young owner had just retired as a professional volleyball player and was therefore very enthusiastic and motivated. There was a short collaboration and the friend eventually realized his first internet servers via the PC shop, but the Linux computer company did not start in the end. The friend (who also didn't finish school) would later start one of the largest hosting providers in the Netherlands.

Also at the new school there was a Dutch teacher who teached something in a powerful way about the seriousness of what happened during the Holocaust, which I found very valuable in retrospect.

A condition of the new opportunity was that if I failed, I would be transferred to a special Primary class. That's where I ended up and at this school there was a small class with people who sometimes had social problems, but sometimes also simply a special situation. For example, through this school I was in a class with one of the most famous football players at the football club Vitesse.

The teacher of the Special Primary class once showed the movie Schindler's List with great emotion. She cried profusely during the screening because some of my classmates weren't paying attention. It was an intense experience that stayed with me.

Relationship with my parents 

As a child I had a lot of verbal fights with my parents and I felt I could win the discussions. The situation between me and my parents was such that I had resolved to leave the parental home when I was 16.

I had a respectful position towards my parents and conflicts could be settled verbally. Maintaining respect for my parents came naturally to me because I had been around friends from an early age where respect for parents was often an important part of the friendship.

As a child I was hardly ever home. I spent a lot of time with dozens of groups of friends from different backgrounds.

When my parents moved into a big new house worth 2 million euros when I was 16 years old, I moved with them. My new room became an integral garage with both an inner door and its own front door.

My closest friends often had parents who held top positions in business and academic life, such as CEO of a major media company, businessman of the year, president of an international organization, or prominent judge.

I hung out with tougher people as well as for example the son of a prominent judge who was made clear by his father that if something happened, his father wouldn't come to pick him up. With him I had plans for some time to start a coach business with Friesian horses.

When I moved with my parents when I was 16, I had dropped out of school. Although I started working on my own internet business, a new group of friends started to visit me daily. I then spent several years with the group on a daily basis.

The father of the friend who was a judge once asked me around that time what my future plans were. He was crouching in front of the beer tap when I came over when he looked up at me and asked exuberantly “So Jan Jaap, what are your plans for your future?”. I replied “Realizing my vision”.

The new group of friends who visited me daily was on their way to university and my dress and appearance changed to a neater skate style.

With the group of friends I went out a lot and visited dance parties. We usually had VIP tickets through one of the friends.

My favorite music genre was trance. I somewhat recognized myself in the appearance of the singer in the following music video of a musician that collaborated with one of my favorite trance DJs at the time Paul Oakenfold (similar to DJ Tiësto).

(2001) Crazy Town - Butterfly Source: YouTube

My friends sometimes did things like attacking me with ten people at a time in the middle of a square with a lot of people, as if I could handle them at the same time.

Vacation in Salou 

In 2001, when I was 17 years old, I went on holiday in Salou with the group of friends I had been with and it turned out that part of my group of friends was gay. My roommate told me on the first day that he was raped by a man who joined us on vaction.

I was shocked for some time by what I learned, however, I soon became self-conscious that I am not a homosexual myself, for which there was clear evidence in my history within the group of friends.

After the holiday there was no problem within the group of friends. One of my friends massaged my back on the last day of the holiday while the group of friends sat together on the beach and I did not have a problem with that. With that, the situation was closed.

After the holiday I had become more confident, which made me feel extra good.

The daily contact with the group of friends was broken after the holidays because the homosexuality within the group had became known and also because most of them had to prepare for university.


Chapter 2 

My Parents' Divorce Period

What followed was a dramatic period of separation of my parents in which I mentally assisted both my parents.

On days, my father walked through the house crying loudly with stamped feet and he told me about his personal problems while crying. With my mother I went out a lot to terraces to talk about her psychological problems.

Because I had a lot of friends from different backgrounds, I was gifted in the field of psychological development. My mother visited a psychologist for her problems and she invited me to come and meet her psychologist. I waited in the waiting area during her treatment.

After the separation period, my parents got back together and they seemed ashamed of what had happened.

My position within the family had always been impeccable. The contact with my parents had always been respectful and quarrels were settled verbally, in which I felt I could often win the discussion, even at a younger age.

Because I had helped my parents a lot during their psychological crisis situation as a listening ear, my position towards my parents had become stronger.

What followed is an attempt by my parents to find a way out of their problems such as the family trauma caused by their period of separation.

Shifting the family trauma problem 

My mother had always been concerned with the problems of my younger brother for whom she sought help through Zen courses and psychologists, among others.

As a child, my younger brother was less able to express himself verbally in quarrels with my parents, which sometimes resulted in violent incidents. For example, he once set his duvet on fire, ran away in anger as a young child during family outings in big cities, and then did not return all day or he destroyed a newly constructed pond in rage with a large axe.

When my mother once walked out of my brother's bedroom during the time he had set his duvet on fire, I automatically addressed my mother in the stairwell while she was walking downstairs and I made it clear to her that I disapproved of what she had done. What my mother had done to my brother seemed to have been something ‘psychic’.

In 2001, after my parents' divorce period ended, my mother came down the stairs from my younger brother's room as I was walking upstairs and she shook her head despondently, with a look that indicated she was at her wits' end and that something really had to be done with my younger brother. Only by one look did I made clear that such a thing, which could have been a psychiatric hospitalization, was absolutely impossible.

I found my younger brother crying on the floor of his room. It wasn't clear to me what was going on, but the situation seemed serious.

I had prevented my mother from making my younger brother the problem of the family. Then my mother lost psychological control and seemed to feel threatened by me.

Then I became 'the problem' 

My parents then tried in an unnatural way to make me the problem of the family.

I resigned myself to this because I thought my parents couldn't do anything to me and because that way I could also protect my brother. I let them do their thing thinking that I was in control verbally.

My parents started behaving unreasonable for no reason.

As an example, both my parents suddenly entered my room and took a seat on my bed for ten minutes without saying a word and remained silent no matter what I said to them. It was a very strange situation. For example, my father looked around my room while I spoke towards him.

Access to my father's office, the only access to the internet at the time, was locked and the key was hidden, hindering me from working for my own company. This broke an agreement.

My parents were trying to create an escalating conflict.

From my perspective, the only problem was that I was dependent on my parents. I had helped my parents a lot during their psychological crisis period so I had no problem.

At that moment I made a conscious choice to switch the internet to my room and close the door to my parents. My intention was to become financially independent as soon as possible so that the problem between me and my parents would be solved.

My intentions were sincere and 'maintaining respect for my parents' was, in addition to becoming financially independent, what I consciously set as a goal and worked with during that period.

I have acted to the best of my knowledge and ability. My name on the internet was ‘SaintJJ’ for a reason.


Chapter 3 

Crime by my parents and a corrupt judge

It had been six months since the start of the conflict with my parents and I had managed to earn a stable income with my own company without compromising my greater ambitions for realizing, among other things, an international payment provider.

In reality I had much bigger plans and at that time I already envisioned solutions in the field of virtual reality. A company that I started by name and that now exists physically, was founded with the plan to develop a new visual language that would allow people to communicate ‘pure understanding’, in order to overcome the inefficient barrier of communication through language.

I was getting ready to do big things once I would have moved out of my parental house.

I searched a room in a nearby college town and all my things were already packed in moving boxes. I was ready to move.

There had been no problem from my perspective except the fact that I was financially dependent on my parents. My idea was that as soon as I had moved, it would be okay again between my parents and me.

Strapped on a stretcher and taken away 

Two weeks before I was due to move, I was suddenly ambushed early one morning by at least ten police officers. Four of the officers present broke into my room without notice while I was still asleep. I still had to put on my pants when the officers were already in my room.

I asked the officers what was going on but they didn't answer. I asked them for papers but there were none. I was ordered to lie down on a stretcher. I was strapped to the stretcher on my stomach, driven into an ambulance and then taken to a solitary cell of a mental institution.

It turned out that my parents had organized a psychiatric hospitalization without my knowledge.

My parents had hidden their plans for the psychiatric hospitalization from me and I was not given a chance to prevent the psychiatric admission.

There was never a conversation with a psychiatrist.

The judge who granted the judicial authorization was required by law to have physically seen me while I had never seen the judge.

A lawyer whom I later consulted discovered more illegalities. For example, it turned out that an unauthorized counselor had been involved in the psychiatric admission and not a psychiatrist, which the judge must have known.

The assigned lawyer had also acted incorrectly during the psychiatric admission and later repeatedly failed to submit an application in cassation. Because of that absence, I ended up being imprisoned in the mental institution for three months ‘for observation’.

The door of my room had a big crack at the bottom that was big enough for a small package. There was also a front door with a letterbox entrance.

Neither my parents, nor the assigned lawyer, nor the judge have slipped a letter under my door or put it in the letterbox informing me about the psychiatric admission.

A conversation shortly before the psychiatric admission 

My mother stood every day for hours on end crying with a psychic (unfair) tone in front of my room door. She even shouted loudly “Boehoehoehoe” as if she was doing a play.

She did that kind of behavior with my younger brother in the past, and I had disapproved of it once when my brother had set his duvet on fire. However, my mother never did anything like that to me so it was unnatural for me. I ignored that behavior and I used headphones.

Shortly before the psychiatric admission, my mother knocked on my door and spoke in an authentically emotional voice, as opposed to the psychological crying. I noticed that and opened the door. My mother told me that a relative had passed away.

A normal 10-minute conversation took place in the living room. There was no sign of conflict in that conversation.

I was working on my business 19 hours a day at the time and I was working on bigger projects. I did so on the basis of a conscious and respectful choice towards my parents. From my perspective, the only problem was that I was dependent on my parents and for that I was successfully working on a solution at the time. A short time later I would have moved into a student room.

My father behaved shyly in the conversation. He didn't look into my eyes and during the conversation I had with my mother he stayed with his back towards me for 10 minutes while he was engaged in lighting candles.

During the conversation, my parents did not inform me about their plans for a psychiatric hospitalization. That cannot be explained logically.

Potential for crime in parents 

My parents were big fans of crime novels and their bookcases, including as a showpiece directly in view in the living room, were filled with hundreds of books by authors such as Agatha Christie. That explains the potential for committing a crime with my parents.

As a nurse-trained housewife, my mother was aware of the possibility of using psychiatry to commit a crime. In addition, the lead-up to a psychiatric admission had been going on for years for my younger brother.

No evidence of mental health problems in my history 

The judge issued a court order without ever seeing me. That was illegal but it was also strange when looking at my past because a mistake about it could not have been possible.

In my past there was no evidence of psychological problems in the form of contact with, for example, psychologists.

There was no evidence of, for example, violent incidents or other oddities.

There was never any alcohol or drug abuse in my past. As a child I already had clear boundaries and I would never use hard drugs like cocaine because I liked to maintain a certain purity of experience.

I spent almost no time at school but I had a vision of the future in which I did not need school and I had a rich social life with psychologically stable friends.

In the years before I stayed in my room, I was almost never at home and mostly hang out with a close-knit group of friends that were on their way to university.

In the years before the psychiatric admission I regularly babysat for the children of a police couple friend whose husband had a top position in the police force. The police couple trusted me as a nanny for their then very young children and the husband once gave me his police motorcycle helmet.

During a family vacation in Bulgaria with the police couple, a woman was assaulted by two Bulgarians with a gun in a cafe. The husband of the police couple then kicked the Bulgarians out of the cafe and addressed them in the street about their behavior. I then stood behind him and supported his commitment to protecting the woman.

When I was 16-17 years old, the police couple repeatedly asked me if I would be interested in working for the police with my technical capabilities. I helped the wife set up a paranormal therapy website.

If my parents didn't intentionally withhold letters then the judge and assigned attorney were negligent, which is illogical when the judge chooses not to see me when that was an illegal choice. In such a situation it becomes extra important to inform someone about what is going on and an ordinary person cannot commit an omission in such a situation by not sliding a letter under the door or putting it in the available mailbox of the front door.

I didn't see the assigned attorney until I was already locked up in the mental institution.

The following is what my mother wrote in 2022 in response to the mention of crying in front of my room door for hours every day in a psychic (unfair) tone:

You've completely lost it, haven't you, how and what your participation in this joint past has been like. You think we were the only ones who did everything back then and you didn't do anything.
Well the "joke" is, that's right. You did nothing except sit in your room and spend almost 24 hours on the internet.

According to my mother I would have been quietly working via the internet and there is no other argument why there would have been a problem with me.

My parents used the past with my younger brother to get me locked up. As a result, I was eventually detained for three months ‘under observation’ because the assigned lawyer failed to file an appeal in cassation.

Comparison with my brother 

After I was taken away, my parents lost control and authority over my brother for several years, during which time hard drug use was ignored. In the basement of my young brother (15-18 years old) who studied at a VMBO school (lowest level), a period of serious drug use took place with daily visits from criminals from low social backgrounds. My young brother would stand under the influence of cocaine in front of my parents, subjecting them to his whims in a derogatory way with low social language, a situation that my sister says has been very serious. One of the visiting criminals once looted the house. According to my sister it was a miracle that my brother decided to turn his life around.

If you put my history next to my brother's, it doesn't make sense that a psychiatric hospitalization would have happened to me from my parents' perspective.

I used to be naturally more ethically developed and my parents are more dark types and that resulted in a situation where I had a certain distance from my parents. My father used to boast that as a child he had cheated someone to make money, for example. I would disapprove of that and around the age of 17 that would have been extra clear to him.

I hugged my father once after the divorce and he seemed uncomfortable. He seemed ashamed of what had happened during the divorce period.


Chapter 4 

Forced first escape

That the psychiatric admission must have been illegal was obvious to me because I had known nothing and had never seen or spoken to anyone about a psychiatric admission, nor had I even been informed by letter, which seemed too absurd to be defensible. I had therefore counted on an appeal in cassation to clear my name.

I waited patiently for the appeal, but despite repeated promises, the assigned attorney would never file it.

A lawyer I consulted after I escaped said that the assigned lawyer must have been deliberately negligent because she acted wrong during the psychiatric hospitalization. He also discovered that an unauthorized counselor had been involved and not a psychiatrist.

My company and business plans were badly damaged and after three months of waiting I was forced to escape.

I escaped the mental institution by removing a window.

After I escaped, my father blocked access to my corporate bank account and called room rental companies not to rent me a room. As a result, I became homeless for some time and I slept in a cabin in a forest that was managed by the befriended police couple.

I decided to focus on restoring my business activities and I decided not to contact old friends because I first wanted to obtain justice and put financial affairs in order.

I have been inclined to solve problems myself and not to cause a nuisance to others. In retrospect that may have been unwise and I should have asked friends for help.


Chapter 5 

Confinement in an isolation cell

In the years following the escape, I was arrested several times without cause and taken to a solitary confinement cell where I was locked up for up to three months at a time. Each time I escaped.

For serious criminals in America, solitary confinement is the most severe punishment. They sometimes get it for several weeks for an offence, while with the incarceration I had to endure it was not known when the incarceration would end.

Isolation cell: masked window, stench and not known when it would end.

Reason for incarceration 

The reason I kept getting arrested by the police always came from my first escape. An escape that I had been forced to do because the assigned lawyer had failed to file an appeal in cassation, of which another lawyer said that she must have been deliberately negligent because she had acted wrong during the psychiatric admission.

I was registered as ‘escaped’ and was only ‘brought back’. There was no further reason. The past illegal psychiatric admission was the sole reason for the incarceration.

During a psychiatric admission I simply maintained the story that the first psychiatric admission had been illegal and that there had been a corrupt judge.

The mention of a corrupt judge and an illegal psychiatric admission may have triggered an adverse reaction.

My position with regard to the psychiatrists was that there was no justification for the incarceration, especially not in solitary confinement. I was polite and respectful but also clear.

In contact with the psychiatrists I forced focus on a simple question: what is the reason that I am locked up in solitary confinement? There was never an answer.

The psychiatrists ignored my question and kept me imprisoned indefinitely in an isolation cell until I managed to escape again, which I managed to do each time.

It turned out to have been a vicious cycle: an illegitimate psychiatric admission from the past, a forced escape and repeatedly ‘brought back’ to the solitary cell only to be forced to escape again because I was locked up in solitary confinement ‘indefinitely’. while the psychiatrist did not answer the simple question why I was locked in solitary confinement.

Standing up for others 

I regularly stood up for patients. I saw how some people were really broken by the isolation cell.

An example is a retarded (mentally handicapped) woman who was violently dragged to the solitary cell as a ‘punishment’ for asking for usual attention (tapping on the therapist's window and the question "can I ask something?") to be locked up for another two weeks, where she cried - really suffering - to express that she couldn't bear it anymore.

It was a woman with a very low IQ but when I suggested with care and with the taking over of responsibility towards the psychiatric nurses, to help her submit a complaint form, she said that she didn't want that anymore because she was afraid for retaliation by the psychiatric nurses.

Later I addressed the subject through the critical blog Zielenknijper.nl. It turned out that some people were locked up in solitary confinement for years on end, including innocent young women.


Chapter 6 

Confirmation of my story

About 2004 when one day I was arrested again 'just like that' and told the judge my story about the crime committed by my parents in association with a corrupt judge, then the judge considered the story and some time later during a personal conversation with the psychiatrist she took it personally for me.

The judge spoke to the psychiatrist on my behalf and said that the psychiatrist was stating nonsense about me, which made the psychiatrist angry. The judge rejected the judicial authorization, so that after two weeks of isolation cell lock-up I ended up on the street.

It corroborated my story of my parents' crime in association with a corrupt judge.

However, it involved not only a corrupt judge but also what the psychiatrists had been doing all along: months of solitary confinement for without cause.

Unfortunately, it turned out that a counterattack would follow.

Two weeks after the judge rejected the judicial authorization, I was arrested again 'just like that' when I was calling in front of a library in a green PTT telephone house that used to be on the street.

Two officers got out of the car and arrested me. When I was in the car, the officer in front of the wheel said to me “You know who you owe this to?” but I had no idea. It occurred to me that the officer might be trying to make me paranoid when there was really no reason to arrest me.

I've always cooperated during arrests. I have also always remained respectful in my contact with, for example, psychiatrists.

Three-judge hearing 

It was two weeks after a judge acquitted me, thereby acknowledging my story. I was now imprisoned again in solitary confinement according to the same rhyme, a psychiatrist who refused to answer why I was locked up.

What followed was something I had never experienced before. I was picked up in a criminal van and led through the back entrance into the courthouse.

I was locked up in a cell awaiting trial.

I prepared in my mind to escape if necessary. I had checked the court corridors and they were busy with visitors but it looked like the outside door would be accessible.

I had written my case before the hearing and I told my story about the illegal psychiatric admission and the fact that a corrupt judge was involved.

During the hearing, my story was ignored. The content of the story I had written was not discussed, the story that I had also made known to the judge who had acquitted me a few weeks before and thus confirmed my story.

The psychiatrist told his story. The three judges granted the judicial authorization and with that the case appeared to be over.

Isolation cell is psychologically exceptionally hard to endure and it had taken me more and more time to recover from that. The transfer to Eindhoven (150km away) after a hearing by three judges while I had been acquitted shortly before indicated that what awaited me could mean little good.

I was forced to try to escape.

The moment I reached the door of the courtroom I started running and I reached the outer door. People were just being ushered in at the time, so there was a guard standing in the doorway and the attempt failed.

Then I was taken to Eindhoven.


In Eindhoven I was locked up in an isolation cell for an indefinite period of time, which ultimately lasted 8 months until I was rescued by my parents. The cell had no window that could open and I was not allowed to go outside for a moment. I saw winter turn to summer and back to winter.

I was mistreated. As an example, at 7 o'clock one morning, three psychiatric nurses suddenly pulled the duvet off me and when I reacted politely but clearly disapprovingly, I was pulled off the bed by them and pressed with my head to the floor and threatened.

It seemed that in Eindhoven they were trying to break me psychologically. After 8 months of solitary confinement, the psychiatrist gave the impression that it could take at least another two years and with no prospect of an escape, that was a sickening prospect for me.

I had never done anything wrong and I had always maintained a respectful position.

There had never been a diagnosis, but after 8 months the first suggestion for a diagnosis was made in Eindhoven.

After a heavy-handed forced injection session I was literally cramping on the floor of the cell. I then called my parents by phone for help.

I first texted a friend saying "I'm almost gone" but he thought it was another friend who went skiing so he didn't respond.

My old friends wouldn't have been able to help me anyway. I had no choice but to call my parents for help.

On the same day that I called my parents, I was allowed to go outside for the first time. Two weeks later I stayed at my parents' house.


Chapter 7 

Return to parents

My parents still lived in the same house where the psychiatric admission had taken place.

The house worth 2 million euros was surrounded by forest and had no immediate neighbours. The house had a swimming pool in the garden and my parents had built a large extension with a large basement below, measuring approximately 50 meters by 20 meters. The basement was used by my younger brother and included a billiard table and fitness equipment.

My mother was now busy with a new company that was committed to providing care to young people via Personal Budget (PGB).

WAP i-mode phone 

The story is strange, but before I arrived in Eindhoven I was one of the first in the Netherlands to have a KPN WAP telephone with internet and I discovered a trick to use the internet for free.

KPN WAP i-mode phone

At that time, coincidentally, there was a UMTS mobile internet trial in Eindhoven as the first in the Netherlands. Using the WAP telephone, I rented a laptop with UMTS dongle from a company in Groningen, which, however absurd, was delivered to the isolation cell by the PostNL deliverer. Nothing was checked and no questions were ever asked.

Internet access (which the psychiatric institution never seemed to have known) allowed me to maintain contacts with international business associates and, among other things, to prepare a project that later yielded up to 40,000 euros a month when I returned to my parents.

One of the projects I was working on at the time was Google Click Arbitrage, which has earned Google tens of billions of euros in that time.

Fraud with PGB and disability benefit 

Against my will and under threat of a declaration of insanity, my parents have applied for a Personal Budget (PGB) and disability benefit in my name.

I didn't want benefits because I found it embarrassing and I demonstrably didn't need benefits. In addition, a benefit for permanently disabled people did not apply to me and may even be harmful to my future. I immediately made it clear to my parents that I did not want benefits.

I then heard my parents discussing in an adjacent room to have me declared mentally incompetent in order to enforce the application.

At the time I was sitting in front of the computer in the living room and the next room that was used as a TV room had only a thin wooden plate as a closure so that I could hear my parents during their conversation.

Then my father walked out of the next room and tried to convince me. He held the papers for the application in his hand and all I had to do was sign.

At that time I was sick and weak from the 8 months solitary cell and the abuse I had to endure. I could not verbally avert the threat of a declaration of insanity. My parents took advantage of the situation.

The benefit was applied for with retroactive effect for several years (approximately 30,000 euros at once).

The PGB worth 4,000 euros net per month was managed by my mother through her new company in the field of PGB care. Caring for me included only feeding.

At that time, I was earning tens of thousands of euros per month through Google Click Arbitrage, so I demonstrably did not need any benefits.

Denial in 2022 

In 2022 my parents denied that they had anything to do with the PGB and disability benefit. That was a reason for writing this book.

I had actually resolved in 2021 during the beginning of email contact with my parents to leave my parents in peace, regardless of what they have done or would do, and to close the situation.

History has been discussed with them and over a period of about six months I politely asked them if something was wrong in my story.

My parents never answered my question and tried to dismiss my story as a reproach. Then at one point my mother communicated the following nonsensical lies about the disability benefit and PGB.

We have NOT applied for disability benefit for you and the PGB also passed us by. That accusation has been wrongly brought before us. This is an example of what's wrong.

It was requested for you at the time, but Dad and I didn't want it for you, so we quickly canceled it. If it still went through through that other person, then we don't know.

I never had contact with another person regarding the application or administration of the PGB or the disability benefit and my parents never canceled it either.

Lying about the PGB and disability benefit fraud was a real threat to me. People who are capable of such fraud and who lie about it to save their own skin, and people who have done so much harm to me in the past, are potentially capable of more.

Termination of PGB and disability benefit 

After I escaped with my parents, I could no longer get rid of the PGB and disability benefit.

I had to put in a lot of effort for a year and after a year the PGB and the disability benefit were only terminated after the intervention of the House of Representatives.

Part of the PGB, about 25,000 euros, was reclaimed in my name and the agency treated me as a criminal.

The fact that my parents paid the reclaimed part of the PGB out of their own pocket shows that they were responsible.

Stopping the disability benefit turned out to be only possible with the cooperation of a psychiatrist.

When I tried to close my private account to block disability benefits, I discovered that only my father had access to the account where the money had ended up.

A year later I received a letter from the benefits agency informing me that they had found my new private account and that they would start paying the benefit for the previous year. The House of Representatives subsequently prevented this. The benefit was terminated a week after contacting them.

Escape with parents 

I escaped with my parents and I rented a room in a village near the forest where I had stayed for a while when I was temporarily homeless. The village had very lovely people and the forest in the area is very beautiful.


Chapter 8 

I Love the Netherlands project

While staying with my parents, I had purchased the domain Forest.com with a Spanish business partner, which subsequently became my property. I sold the domain for $110,000 USD which put me in the top 10 domain sales in the world that year.


In the village I started a new project called PrikStad.nl (PinCity) that similar to the then well-known The Million Dollar Homepage project offered a bulletin board on the map of every village and city in the Netherlands on which companies could place a pin.

The project proved extremely popular and people literally sent love letters for their hometown to the post box address in the village. Soon the project was being visited by tens of thousands of people a day, causing the server to become overloaded.

Then the idea arose to expand the project further and change the concept to "I Love City" (Ik Hou Van Nederland). Coincidentally, that was at the same time as the popular TV concept Ik Hou Van Holland was conceived, although I did not watch TV and the TV concept would have been conceived only a few months earlier.

The I Love City concept became very popular and the project was eventually managed by more than 200 mainly female editors.

I personally met the editors in local cafes in their city to discuss a collaboration. Many of the editors were teaching or studying communications or marketing and they were very enthusiastic and spent time on the project on a daily basis for many years.

Unfortunately, it turned out not to be possible to make the project profitable.

The commercial idea was that the I Love City project, in combination with enthusiastic marketing and communication students in a local city, could sell unique and creative social media marketing solutions to local companies while competitors such as Groupon took a lot of money from their parties for a sometimes mediocre result.

Via the I Love City platform, there could be a wider reach of potential customers and in the meantime it could help local students with their studies so that a win-win situation would arise where especially creativity related to social media marketing would lead to new customers as opposed to giving away profit at concepts like Groupon.

Several enthusiastic editors, some of whom could be top models in appearance while studying or teaching marketing or communication, have devoted themselves seriously to commerce for the project for years and have actively visited companies, but unfortunately the interest was absent.

Some editors, including some males, have made an effort to find local businesses on their own initiative – with their own communications company in the background – but at the time it proved very difficult to get companies interested in investing in innovative social media marketing products.

The social media accounts with more than 500,000 readers have been given away to the editors and some accounts are still active today.

The project was completely self-financed and had no loans, investments or financial debts so the company was simply liquidated.


Chapter 9 

Critical philosophical blog Zielenknijper.nl

I've never been selfish. Also, I am not a vengeful person by nature and prefer to spend my time and energy on positive things.

After my parents' crime, I considered leaving the Netherlands and leaving the injustice for what it was. A former associate of my father's forestry company lived in Spain where he sold holiday homes and I had seen him as a second father as a child. He had left the forestry business in an argument with my father. I could have moved to Spain where I already had business contacts at the time.

After contacting the House of Representatives for the termination of the disability benefit and PGB that my parents had applied for in my name, I had the feeling that I had to commit myself in the interest of others.

I stayed in the Netherlands for others and not for myself.

At the time, the father of a friend who is the CEO of one of the largest media companies in the Netherlands advised me to start a blog.

A girl with a depression with whom I had contact on a forum had advised me to contact people from the House of Representatives and she also formed a motivation. In contact with the girl, a line of reasoning arose that would later form the basis for the critical philosophical initiative Zielenknijper.nl:

“If life were to be good as it was, there would be no reason to exist.”

The contact with the girl inspired a first critical philosophical article about depression.

The first article published on Zielenknijper.nl was the following:

The influence of psychiatry on our spiritual evolution

I thought it would be nice to start with a theory that I recently came up with as a result of a forum discussion that may provide an answer to the question of how it is possible that there is currently a growing ‘depression epidemic’ with more than 850,000 drug-using patients in the Netherlands and how it is that there are generally more and more psychiatric patients.

When talking about evolution, many people think of the genetic transfer of traits to subsequent generations (heredity), but that is not the only part of human evolution. Spiritual evolution is also an important part and similar to biological evolution also has a recognizable domino effect.

Professor of Philosophy 

During the contact with the girl on a forum I became acquainted with professor of philosophy Prof. Wim J. Van Der Steen, who had a very critical position with regard to psychiatry.

After the start of Zielenknijper.nl, I met the professor in a cafe at Utrecht station and he would be the first to participate in the project through a column. Subsequently, bestselling author and well-known professor Prof. Dr. Ivan Wolffers was also interested in a column and several others followed, including the well-known Belgian pharmacist Fernand Haesbrouck.

The critical blog Zielenknijper.nl was regularly quoted by members of the House of Representatives and by major newspapers such as de Volkskrant and NOS.nl.

As editor-in-chief of the critical philosophical initiative Zielenknijper.nl, I dealt with the subject of forensic psychiatry (TBS), which made justice an intellectual enemy as well.

When a group of authoritative lawyers in the Netherlands decided to boycott the TBS measure because of 'arbitrariness by psychiatrists' that often formed the basis of the measure, the critical blog ensured that that fact would receive publicity for years.

Standing up for scholars and aid workers 

The critical blog was neutral and had no political, ideological or religious motives. In particular, the blog used an independent intellectual position to speak up for professors and counselors who were oppressed when they spoke critically of psychiatry.

Loren Mosher

One of the most distinctive stories covered by the critical blog was that of American professor Loren Mosher.

The professor was director of schizophrenia research at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) in America from 1968 to 1980, one of the highest-ranking positions in psychiatry at the time.

The professor invented an effective and more humane treatment method for treating the most serious psychological problems that he called Soteria psychotherapy. With money from the NIMH, Mosher had opened his first Soteria home in Santa Clara, California in 1971.

In the Soteria home, schizophrenia patients lived drug-free with young non-professional nurses trained to listen to and understand people, to offer them friendship and companionship. The professor tested his idea that “schizophrenia can in many cases be cured with the help of meaningful relationships rather than drugs, and that such treatment ultimately leads to undeniably healthier lives.

The Soteria house experiment worked better than the professor expected. In the initial six weeks, patients recovered just as quickly as patients treated with drugs in hospitals.

Renowned bestselling author and journalist Robert Whitaker notes:

But the difference was that the Soteria patients stayed healthy longer. Relapse rates were much lower for the Soteria group in both one- and two-year follow-up studies. The Soteria patients also functioned much better socially. They were better able to keep their jobs or attend school.

The success of Prof. Dr. Loren Mosher with his non-professional caregivers and without drugs put the established psychiatry to shame.

The National Institute of Mental Health cut funding for the Soteria home and forced it to close. In 1998, the professor was so disgusted by established psychiatry that he wrote a letter of resignation to the American Psychiatric Association.

It turned out that there were hundreds of similar stories to that of Prof. Dr. Loren Mosher, and that logically meant that the stories I discovered only showed a corner of the veil.

Contact with Robert Whitaker 

Robert Whitaker

I came in contact with the well-known bestselling author and medical journalist Robert Whitaker who has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for articles on the psychiatric drug antipsychotics in the major Boston Globe newspaper.

In the beginning I invested thousands of euros to translate scientific publications of Robert Whitaker into Dutch.

Robert Whitaker is author of the well known books Mad in America and Anatomy af an Epidemic, both bestsellers and icons.

Robert Whitaker would later start a media platform on the domain www.madinamerica.com, in which leading Dutch professors now also participate, for example via podcasts and blog articles.

Before he started that initiative, there was talk for a while that I would help him, but when I failed to obtain the domain psychiatry.com, I decided not to start an international initiative and leave it with the Dutch initiative.

Abroad, the situation would be much more complex and I also had the feeling that the situation in America with regard to the injustice experienced by people was different than in the Netherlands. Robert Whitaker then started madinamerica.com independently.

In a response to me, Robert Whitaker once wrote the following.

Dear [pseudoniem],

Yours is a good question. I think at the moment American society as a whole is rather confused about psychiatry. There is a growing suspicion among the public that psychiatry really doesn’t know much about the “biology” of mental disorders, despite all of its claims to the contrary, and there is a growing suspicion that the drugs aren’t all that great. Moreover, there is a growing recognition that psychiatry is totally compromised by pharmaceutical money. At the same time–and I know this is odd–the public does generally view criticism of psychiatric drugs as coming from people with a bias. So it’s a confused picture.

You’ve put your finger on an important problem. The presence of Scientologists in this debate serves to deligitimize criticism that arises from an honest examination of the science. The public has this vague sense that the criticism arises from religious principles rather than from a look at what the science really has to say.

As for the rest of the medical profession, well, doctors basically belong to a big tribe, and part of the tribal rules are that those in one discipline don’t publicly criticize the doctors in another discipline. This keeps non-psychiatrist doctors from weighing in on the matter, and as far as criticism that arises from within psychiatry, psychiatry as a field has been very successful in letting its members know that they will be ex-communicated and their careers will suffer if they speak too critically. Psychiatrists are allowed to make minor concessions, such as saying that pharmaceutical money has become too influential, but they are not allowed to say that the drugs don’t really work.

So it’s complicated. Think of a society that has bought into a medical delusion, and that’s where we’re at in the U.S. The public knows that something isn’t right, but at the same time it maintains its general belief in the medical model story.


Bob Whitaker

Philosophy of Mind 

The origins of life and of the human mind are still unknown. There is no evidence that the human mind ‘originates’ in the brain.

For example, there are people who lead a normal and healthy life with only 5 to 10% brains, such as a French man with a wife and two children who works as a municipal official. An accidental examination in a hospital at the age of 44 discovered that he only has 10% brains.

Science Alert, 2016

Meet the man who lives normally with 90% of his brain missing

“Any theory of consciousness must be able to explain why such a person, who is missing 90 percent of his neurons, still exhibits normal behavior,” sais Axel Cleeremans, a professor of cognitive philosophy at the Université Libre de Bruxelles in Belgium.

The perspective of Zielenknijper.nl since the first post ever has been: there is a potential that is visible and it is important that people learn to make use of that potential, not only to recover from serious mental health problems but also to take people further than one can possibly imagine today.

Studies have shown that an ‘active placebo‘ (a pill that gives the feeling that something is happening in the body) recovers 100% of patients with major clinical depression as well as antidepressants. This proves that a belief in a pill can help people recover from major depression.

It may be essential to human evolution to learn to tap into that potential.

For example, the critical blog asked the following question:

What is the good intention of psychiatry for humanity to treat the brains of millions of people against depressive emotions?

Logically, without the potential for depression, there is no potential for euphoria. The idea: A depression-euphoria system could be vital for driving people to success.

A quest began. The news was followed on Google Alerts.

Nazi ideology and eugenic motives 

I found strong clues for the existence of eugenic motives in virtually all areas of psychiatry.

Eugenics is a pseudoscience that laid at the root of the Nazi holocaust. It is an ideology for racial hygiene.

The critical blog has investigated Nazi ideology and eugenics from a philosophical perspective which later led to a study of GMO (eugenics on nature) and the concept butterflyGMOdebate.org.

I discovered the following about antipsychotics, ADHD medication, and antidepressants.

  1. Antipsychotics: The top 3 most deadly antipsychotics (Seroquel, Risperdal and Zyprexa) match the top 3 most prescribed antipsychotics. Modern antipsychotics are 10x more expensive and up to 41% more deadly than the old antipsychotics from 20 years ago. Antipsychotics make users chronically ill and shorten lives by at least 30 years.

    (2009) Study may prompt rethink on schizophrenia drugs Source: Reuters (The Lancet) (PDF)

    According to a large study, patients have a 40% chance of a good recovery without treatment, while antipsychotics reduce the chance of recovery to nil. Alternative non-medical psychotherapeutic treatment options, which in first experiments showed a potential of up to 90% chance of good recovery, were systematically suppressed.

    Long-term outcomes of schizophrenia, source: Martin Harrow and Thomas Jobe. “Factors involved in Outcome and Recovery in Schizophrenia Patients Not on Antipsychotic Medications: A 15-year Multifollow-up Study. The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 195 (2007):406-414.

  2. ADHD: ADHD medication causes aggression and psychosis for which antipsychotics are prescribed. The number of antipsychotic prescriptions to children in the Netherlands grew by 49% in 2010. There is evidence that there is a relationship between the growth in ADHD medication prescriptions and antipsychotic prescriptions.

  3. Antidepressants: Antidepressants have suspicious side effects while a fake pill with a side effect (active placebo) that gives users the feeling that something is happening in the body, is proven to be just as effective as antidepressants in patients with a clinical major depression.

    (2008) Effectiveness of antidepressants: an evidence myth constructed from a thousand randomized trials? Source: PhilPapers

    Antidepressants double to tenfold the risk of suicide and hundreds of professors raised the alarm that antidepressants can have extreme violence as a side effect. Some magazines even published covers with the title “Killer Pills”.

    (2010) A criminal side effect There is no hard scientific evidence that antidepressants can be the cause of extremely violent behavior, but the evidence is piling up. Source: Trouw (2009) Pills of the Devil Source: REVU. [Online] (2008) Cheating with suicide rates: Miracle pill, fake pill, suicide pill Source: VARA/VPRO Noorderlicht

    Antidepressants cause genetic damage in the sperm and fetus that makes men infertile, that increases the risk of miscarriage by 68% or that causes children to be born with birth defects, such as specifically a weakened heart that increases the risk of premature death in children.

    The side effects of antidepressants are suspicious when it is known that an active placebo is just as effective in almost all patients.

According to hundreds of scientists, the diagnosis of ADHD is a hoax. It was striking that the Dutch Association against Quackery (VtdK) was silent.

The former chairman of the association, Dr Cees Renckens, called on members to adopt the Nazi mentality. During a Christmas speech, the chairman praised Nazis with the message that one should react to quackery as the Nazi Hermann Göring reacted when he heard the word culture.

Nazi Hermann Göring: “When I hear the word culture, I unlock my gun!

In a Volkskrant opinion piece, the chairman ranted at critics of psychiatry just before his resignation, an additional indication of an ideologically motivated defense of what many scientists consider to be one of the most unsound practices in science.

(2012) Antipsychiatry has done a lot of damage The truth is that the advent of antipsychotics in the 1950s humanized the psychiatry and lives of psychotic patients, freeing them from extreme fears, hallucinations, and movement disorders. That writes Cees Renckens, board member of the Association against Quackery. Source: Volkskrant

An article by well known philosopher Bonnie Burstow, an anti-psychiatry scholar (someone involved in criticism on psychiatry), shows a more current perspective on eugenics in psychiatry.

(2019) Psychiatric Eugenics Then and Now — You Betcha It’s Still Happening! Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” (George Santayana) Source: Mad In America

Psychiatry and the Holocaust 

I discovered that eugenics and the extermination program that led to the Nazi Holocaust grew out of international psychiatry.

German psychiatry started organized murder of patients through starvation diets 20 years before the Nazi party was founded and continued until 1949. In America, psychiatry started mass sterilization programs and similar programs have also taken place in several European countries. The Holocaust began with the murder of more than 300,000 psychiatric patients.

(1998) Forced euthanasia by Starvation in Psychiatry 1914-1949 Source: semanticscholar.org

The idea behind eugenics – racial hygiene – that led to the Nazi Holocaust was supported by Universities around the world. It started with an idea that was not naturally defensible and that was thought to require trickery and deceit. It resulted in a demand for people with the capabilities of Nazis.

The famous German Holocaust scholar Ernst Klee described the situation as follows:

“The Nazis didn't need psychiatry, it was the other way around, psychiatry needed the Nazis.”

More info in the case file Holocaust.

Support from journalists 

Many journalists encouraged me in the beginning and offered to help. This sometimes involved journalists from major newspapers such as NRC Handelsblad.

No politics, ideology or religion 

The critical blog was philosophical in nature and the intention was to be neutral.

Never before has anyone been put a hair's breadth in the way of being able to share his or her opinion. The blog had nothing to do with politics or ideology. Everyone was welcome to share his or her opinion, as well as to prove his or her right on the basis of reason.

Never threatened 

There has never been a threat via email or otherwise at Zielenknijper.nl' editorial. Psychiatrists and professors had always been friendly in their contact and never complained about the content of the blog.

During the time I stayed in Utrecht I cycled through the city and visited shops and cafes. There was never a threat. Nor have I ever been approached about the critical blog, not even by journalists.

There were a few incidents in Utrecht with apparently low-intelligent justice employees (police officers who behaved heavily stressed) but bystanders in the city, such as shop owners, quickly and effectively dealt with situations so that I personally did not get hindered by it.

Closing in 2014 

The blog was closed around 2014 because the idea had arisen that the position as a layperson could no longer be a valuable addition.

Any change for the benefit of people would best come from within to be future proof and effective.

Shortly before his death, I promised professor Wim J. Van der Steen that his column would remain available online, and Google Analytics shows that his articles are still widely read in 2022.

To conclude the critical blog, I symbolically visited the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, where in the hall I paid the costs for hosting via internet banking for a longer period in advance using a laptop. I wore an “I Love Amsterdam” cap and then I visited the museum as a guest.

Once I was outside again, I paused briefly in front of the musicians who were playing and took a mint from my inside pocket from an organic brand with the image of an Orca, my favorite animal and a symbol of free will. Then I returned to my sister's hotel where I was staying.

Afterwards I returned to the museum again for a tour via a Meetup meeting. It turned out I was the only one who showed up. We then walked around the museum outside where the organizer of the meeting told about the history of the outdoor part of the museum.


Chapter 10 

Relocation to Utrecht

During the meeting of the editors for the city of Utrecht, I visited Utrecht several times. One of the editors was a communication student and her study offered social media marketing for the first time that year and she wanted to do an internship at the Ik Hou Van Nederland project.

While traveling through the Netherlands with an NS business card, I had already visited Utrecht a few times and together with Groningen I thought it was one of the most attractive cities.

During a visit to a cafe, the owner told enthusiastically about the flex-work office above it and I decided to rent an office there. Then I also moved to Utrecht where I lived for a few years on the Nieuwegracht in a very nice house of a lovely couple. I rented the attic where their son had previously lived.

The time in Utrecht was very good and I thought at one moment that if I had to rate the city, I would give a 10, but 1 point less because of the air pollution for which I could possibly help to find a solution myself, for example by promoting clean mobility.

After the Ik Hou Van Nederland project ended, I decided to move to a cheap student room for a while.

After returning to a small room on the Nieuwegracht above an old bakery for some time, I decided to live in my sister's hotel for a while.


Then I returned to Utrecht where I found a room on the Springweg.

The house on Springweg was directly opposite the conservatory and had music students as residents, among others, with whom I logically got along. The location suited me very well and it was a good time.

A motive for moving to Utrecht was also the memory of a TV commercial that has always stayed with me. It showed a student on a bicycle saying “It's all about respect”. It occurred to me that the commercial came from Utrecht. I have always seen Utrecht from that lens when I stayed there as a temporary guest.


Chapter 11 

Threat of a police raid

I was now renting a non-self-contained room in a large house on the Springweg in Utrecht, directly opposite the conservatory and the headquarters of Institute of Parapsychology Netherlands.

The house had 14 young residents, many of them students and recent graduates.

Like a bolt from the blue, in 2018 the landlord suddenly expressed the false suspicion that I was growing cannabis in the room and threatened with a police raid.

The suspicion was absurd and there was no reason for anything like that in my previous history with the landlord.

Previous history with my landlord 

I had good contact with the landlord and I had the impression that the landlord had been happy with my tenancy until then.

I had helped the landlord several times. As an example, when the shopkeepers complained about garbage that was in front of the door during holiday periods in the summer, to which I had not contributed myself, I had someone come for 70 euros to take it away.

I also encouraged my housemates to support the landlord when he was involved in a lawsuit with the Municipality of Utrecht. The landlord responded in 2017 to be grateful with the encouragement.

Hi Jan Jaap,

Thank you for your excellent response.

The landlord had indicated in several emails to the tenants that he had an aversion to ‘civil servants’. For example, he once wrote the following:

Yesterday I intended to send an angry email to the municipality, but of course it gets lost anyway..

You have officials and officials… sometimes I loathe.

I am a non-smoker and I was working on an international project for clean air in cities - www.e-scooter.co - which was very popular at the time. The landlord was aware of the fact that I did not smoke since the start of the lease.

The house was located in the middle of the city in one of the most beautiful areas of the center of Utrecht above an expensive clothing store. The small room could possibly have accommodated ten cannabis plants, which makes the idea of a ‘weed plantation’ nonsensical.

As far as I know, hardly anyone in the house used or smoked weed. There was never a smell of weed in the house.

Housemates not informed 

The house had 14 residents who had good contact with each other, including via a WhatsApp group.

The landlord had not consulted with the housemates. If he had, the suspicion would have been impossible.

After I informed my housemates about the absurd suspicion, the landlord apologized and gave the motive that he had to deal with a major police raid in the past and closure of his company for half a year because of a cannabis plantation on his company.

In my opinion it was a weak apology and I made it known to the landlord that I experienced the suspicion as blackmailing.

I wrote the following response to the landlord:

The suspicion of criminal activities logically worries me. In essence, it is a form of blackmailing. What should the residents think if you just make that official? There was no logical basis for the suspicion.

I accepted the landlord's apology in 2018 although there were doubts about his motive for suspecting me. The threat of a police raid was inexplicable to me.

Confession that it wasn't the landlord 

In 2020, the landlord suddenly and without reason confesses that the false suspicion in 2018 had not come from himself but from ‘people from the municipality’. He also wrote that he has come to admire me.

The landlord's confession came at an odd time. Until then, as described in the next chapter, the landlord had destroyed my home and contents and had ignored the report of damage against reasonableness. Also, the landlord had behaved absurdly disrespectful.

Shortly before the confession the landlord had forwarded a personal email from a municipal police chief that seemed to show that the police boss was protecting the landlord.

Jan Jaap, for me you are a special man who is a good tenant in every way.

You know that I once suspected you of having a cannabis plantation in your room, which didn’t even come from me, but from people from the municipality.

Slowly I could appreciate your person. That is why I think the current calamities are very annoying.

I responded that I still felt that the responsibility for the false suspicion lay with the landlord.

As for the suspicion of growing cannabis in the room from the municipality, that is nonsensical. There was no reason for you to take such a suspicion serious, so the responsibility for making such an accusation certainly lies with you.

I could not explain why ‘people at the municipality’ would have raised a false suspicion and threatened a police raid on my small room in the middle of the center of Utrecht.

I was the founder of Ik Hou Van Utrecht with 14,000 readers at the time, which was actively managed by several social media editors and with which many people were happy. Publications regularly had more than 500 likes.

Furthermore, I had no relationship or history with the municipality.

Shortly after confessing to the false suspicion, the landlord makes the same false suspicion again while the municipal police chief watches on. The landlord sent an email with the subject “appearance of a cannabis plantation” and again threatened a police raid.

The landlord seemed to want to make something clear with his confession and the repetition of the false suspicion, namely that he was not behind the attack on my house and his disrespectful behavior.

The landlord is an engineer so he must have known what he was doing.

The landlord would behave increasingly absurdly disrespectful and even violent while the police boss watches. Among other things, there was a violent trespass in which both my arms were injured and for which a report was drawn up by the regular police. That violent incident was absurd and seemed unprovoked.

There were more absurdly disrespectful incidents that seemed to increase in severity which was illogical because at the time there was heightened surveillance by a municipal police chief and because the landlord had communicated that he had come to admire me.


Chapter 12 

Attack on my home by Justice

A second incident followed in November 2019 in which all my personal belongings were destroyed and I would lose my home.

The landlord started a renovation of the room below my room and then a severe level of air pollution was created in my room which destroyed all my personal belongings.

The air pollution meter of my air purifier indicated that the air pollution level was higher than PM2.5 +500 µg/m³ particulate matter, which is officially a life-threatening level.

PM2.5 500 µg/m³ is Hazardous = life-threatening.

The air pollution was so serious that within a few days a thick layer of fine dust had formed on my household effects and also deep inside electrical equipment. Furniture such as beds became irreparably soiled.

I immediately had the feeling that there was intent, but I had no basis for such an idea. I had actually already forgotten the false suspicion and threat of a police raid in 2018 and apart from that incident I had had the idea in the years before that the landlord liked me.

I reported the damage to the landlord and asked how the dirt could have gotten into my room.

Yesterday's work resulted in PM2.5 +500 µg/m³ particulate matter in my room while fresh air was drawn in from outside with a filter.

It concerns a level "Hazardous" (+500 ug/m³). That is very serious. That this was actually the case is visible on the plants. The leaves contain a thick layer of debris. How did that get into my room?

Orange Suite Zielinski

The landlord then visited my room with his two young Polish construction workers.

The Polish workers were remarkably healthy and sporty and wore sterile clean orange suits with the name “Zielinski” printed on the back in white letters.

Considering that I was the author of the critical blog Zielenknijper.nl, that was remarkable.

Also the fact that the suits were sterile clean was remarkable considering that they had allegedly been involved in demolition work that had caused the air pollution.

When the Polish workers entered the room they made a loud whining noise indicating that they were sorry for the damage that was clearly visible (“Aaaaaaaaaaah” from high to low).

After the air pollution incident, the workers were replaced by older, fat and smoking Polish workers in plain clothes.

Ignoring the report of damage 

The landlord would ignore the report of damage against reasonableness.

I had adopted a position in which I wanted to give the landlord a chance to respond appropriately to the damage that he had caused. For example, during a personal meeting I asked “Have you experienced this before and do you know how things should be done correctly?”. I also suggested to the landlord to take out insurance.

The landlord reacted shyly and did not answer. He ignored the proposal to take out insurance.

It occurred to me that by repeating the damage report via email, it would not be possible for the landlord to not respond. The landlord would nevertheless continue to ignore the report of damage against reasonableness.

I sent the landlord the following SMS which proves that the damage was discussed in a personal conversation that followed.

3:20 pm: “I was cleaning today, the dust damage is unfortunately significant. Access is possible today and tomorrow, the room could be available in 15 minutes.”

Confession it wasn't an accident 

Only 45 days after the 9 December 2019 liability notice does the landlord respond and he then claims that he has no idea what I am talking about when I speak of an “accident”.

You want to hold me responsible for “the accident”. I really don't know what you're talking about!

With this the landlord has essentially admitted that it was not an accident because it is out of the question that the landlord could have believed that no damage had been caused.

An unsafe and drafty space as a replacement living space 

I had to leave my room immediately to protect my health. I had been pretty ill in the two weeks after the air pollution and my sports performance was seriously damaged. I used to row daily so that it was clear how serious the effect had been.

The landlord offered me to temporarily move to a small drafty room of 5m² behind a toilet. In retrospect, that was illegal because you are not allowed to spend the night in such a room.

Small unheated, unsafe and drafty gap of 5m² behind a toilet.

The landlord wrote the following in his proposal:

Then you could put your bed theoretically downstairs - so I mean on the current granito floor in that room. You may live very primitive, because the surface is about 5 m2, but it would be possible, but that is up to you.

I got a strange gut feeling after that proposal. It was as if the landlord thought he had caught me.

I agreed with the landlord that he would close the space tourproof, but he would only hang a sail with below and above a large opening so that the dirt from the renovation blown into the space. I was forced to move to a hotel.

On the day after the move to the small space I wrote the landlord the following:

Unfortunately I have not yet succeeded in finding an alternative place to sleep. Spending the night in space has not proved healthy. There is draft and the dust of the renovation blows into the space. You had agreed to make the space dustproof.

For completeness:

Initially I suggested finding a temporary living space myself. However, in a few days that had not been possible. You suggested using the gap on the 1st floor temporarily. You suggested moving the things on Thursday. Due to a misunderstanding, you were already knocking on the door on Tuesday [November 26, 2019]. The room was empty on Wednesday. This shows my cooperation.

Start of a major renovation in my room without an appointment 

After I moved out of my room, the landlord starts a major renovation in the room without an appointment where everything was demolished, both the floor, the ceiling, the walls, the kitchen and a raised part for a bed.

During a personal conversation after the damage was caused, only the construction of a metal pipe from the underlined room upwards was discussed for which I had thought that the landlord would need a few weeks of time. Email communication with the landlord confirms that I could have had no other idea other than that it was about installing a metal pipe.

Two months later in January 2020 I found my room in a completely demolished state as visible in the photo. I then got the impression that the renovation could take at least six months.

Condition of my room after two months

Deliberately not offering a replacement accommodation 

All this time I had stayed in an expensive hotel and the landlord had refused to offer alternative accommodation.

After two months I contacted the landlord again about the condition in which I had found my room. I had run into the landlord on the stairs shortly before and he refused to start a conversation about the unsafe situation for my household effects.

The landlord again refused to offer alternative accommodation and communicated that he had discovered a woodworm in the ceiling of the room that would make the room unavailable for an extended period of time.

I am sorry that the renovation will be very disappointing in terms of time and costs.

The ceiling has been eaten by woodworm or another insect. I need to find out if that bug is still alive. Otherwise, I'll have to hire a company that can chemically exterminate such pests. Then I can restore the ceiling. I hope that chemical is not bad for people. I may have to wait a while before living there.

I see no chance of improving the storage space behind the toilet. The sail is now broken, but it wasn't. I have never talked about slogans like “draft tight”; as said, that is impossible.

As I stated before, I cannot take responsibility for the situation you have found yourself in. You yourself indicated that you had a possibility to move temporarily, because you would use the room less for a few months anyway.

I had never agreed with the landlord that I would not use my room for several months.

In the email in which the landlord had proposed to spend the night in the small gap space of 5m², he communicated an estimate of the time required for the first time. The landlord then communicates that he needs four weeks with a maximum extension of two weeks in connection with the holidays.

I had assumed it would only take a few weeks to build the metal pipe, but I had to leave my room as soon as possible to protect my health. I have not made any note of the announced duration of the work and the fact that I finally waited two months shows that I have had enough patience.

The fact that the landlord proposed to me to spend the night in the space of 5m² also shows that it was not agreed that I would move temporarily. I had only indicated that I would temporarily try to find another place to live, but that had to do with the fact that my health was threatened by air pollution.

It was not logical that the landlord turned down my request for replacement accommodation after two months.

At that time, a police chief was watching with whom the landlord had personal contact, which had made the rejection extra strange. It seemed as if the landlord reacted in the opposite direction to the increased supervision by a municipal police chief.

Vacant room intentionally not offered 

A housemate who studied administrative law told me that he had found it suspicious that the landlord had rented out a vacant room next to his room in December 2019 after a viewing round, two weeks after I was evicted from my living space. According to him, I was entitled to the vacant room for replacement accommodation.

There had been weeks of communication in which I had asked the landlord to offer alternative accommodation. For example, I wrote the landlord the following in November 2019:

Do you intend to leave me without alternative accommodation? What is the reason that you did not communicate about this?

My entire household effects have been destroyed and you leave me unconcerned in an unheated, drafty and not properly closed (unsafe) space of 1.5m by 2m.

Unsafe situation of household effects 

Although the landlord had agreed to close the small space of 5m² where my belongings were stored, the landlord would not do so despite repeated promises, so that my belongings were freely accessible to everyone in the house, including temporary Polish construction workers, for months.

Before I moved out of my room, I had clearly agreed that the landlord would seal the small space in between, and the landlord knew from the communication history that I valued my privacy.

The landlord seemed to have intentionally left an unsafe situation for my household effects for months.

After the landlord failed to lock the room despite repeated promises, I sent him the following message in December:

My stuff has been unsafe for a month. Does it not concern you that my household effects are unsafe?

It was clearly agreed that you would seal the room dust-tight. It is now a month later and there is only a half-broken tarpaulin with large holes above and below.

A month later in January 2020, I ran into the landlord on the stairs while he was busy with his remodeling. My belongings had been unsafe for two months.

I spoke to the landlord and I tried to start a conversation about the unsafe situation for my household effects. The landlord did not respond and continues attentively and silently screwing an electrical outlet.

I stood at the top of the stairs about ten feet away while the landlord stood at the bottom of the stairs, blocking the way.

After waiting for a moment, I determined "You seem to only care about your own business" and then I walked past him, touching him lightly as he was blocking the way.

Then I sent the landlord the following message in which I made known that the suspicion had arisen that there had been intent.

You are working on your own renovation, but you do not arrange for the temporary space in which my household effects are stored to be locked, for example. That's strange. You promised several times to do that. You apparently do that on purpose. (The furniture is now freely accessible to everyone, including Polish construction workers).

Then the landlord reacts bluntly and denies that he has agreed to close the room.

I see no chance of improving the storage space behind the toilet. The sail is now broken, but it wasn't. I have never talked about slogans like “draft tight”; as said, that is impossible.

Life-threatening situations in the house 

There had been life-threatening conditions in the house for which I would report to the police and the municipality at the end of December 2019.

For example, the landlord noticeably hung a power cable in a loop near the stairs so that there would be a tripping hazard, which he did after I warned via email about life-threatening situations due to loose cables in the hallway in the stairwell.

The landlord has installed the cable himself after a text message.

Subsequently, six meters deep grooves were created in the stairwell through which a child or pet could easily fall. Also, the stairwell didn't seem safe with 14 young residents walking across it daily who could be drunk at times.

Six meters deep grooves at the stairwell

After being open for several weeks, the trenches were nailed shut with planks by Polish workers without support on the wall side.

Provisionally nailed up by temporary Polish construction workers

I stepped on the plank with light weight and I noticed that it was about to sag. I then stepped on the plank twice, causing the plank to fall six meters into the depth.

It was a life-threatening situation in a house with 14 young residents who sometimes have parents and young children visiting.

The landlord became angry during the contact about this and threatened “if you continue like this, there will be a rift between us”.

A housemate then responded with the following:

Jan Jaap is right about the dangerous situation. Sometimes there aren't even planks covering the holes.

Just like last Tuesday. I had a lot of visitors for my birthday. A friend of mine stepped with a foot in the hole! She could barely catch her on the railing. She wasn't wearing her contact lenses and couldn't see well.
Fortunately, she was not hurt, but she was very shocked and angry.

The landlord then apologizes and indicates that he will check the work of his temporary Polish construction workers from now on, showing that he has not done so before.

I warned the landlord that he was guilty of gross negligence and that he could be charged with wrongful death in the event of an accident.

There appears to be evidence of gross negligence and lack of concern for the safety and health of residents. Is the stair section safe at all? If it collapses, the whole will fall 6 meters into the depth.

Your communication showed that you work with cheap Polish workers and that you have not done any checks for many months, even before the weekend (3-4 days unattended). That's actually nonsensical. These are life-threatening situations and risks.

A lawyer I was in contact with advised me to file a complaint. After I reported it to the police and the municipality, a large inspection of the house would take place in January 2020.

Threat letter from the Legal Counsel 

During the attack on my home, I contacted the Legal Counsel. In her response, they sent an email from a psychiatric patient who told a threatening paranoid story.

That must have been technically impossible and in principle cannot have been an accident. It is also virtually impossible that an ordinary employee of the Legal Counsel would do such a thing because you could lose your job or worse as a result.

You are sending an email from someone else in your message. I don’t think that should just happen, because you are dealing with sensitive information from people.

I can of course think of corruption or sad motives from you as an individual to do so, and in that case it will not be an intelligent act. Just because there are people with mental health problems doesn’t mean you should give rogue doctors a license to mess around in their brains. For you as an employee of the Legal Counsel it is important to know your place and to deliver quality, even if people behave incorrectly or have ideas that are incorrect. There should be no room for corruption.

Despite the potential for dubious action on your part, I hereby inform you that the error should not occur if it were an accident.

Other than that, thanks for the advice! I hope that you will serve people with sincerity.

Attempted police intimidation 

During the attack on my home, the local police tried to intimidate me, which seemed very unnatural.

The landlord became more and more disrespectful after the municipal police chief seemed to have taken him under protection and he went very far.

For example, the landlord threatened me that I would be kicked out of the house by the police boss with ‘civil servant violence’, which was nonsensical considering the whole situation.

The landlord committed an unprovoked violent trespass that injured both my arms. It was an absurd action because at the time there was an ongoing conflict with the intervention of a lawyer. The landlord achieved nothing with it.

The landlord walked into my room without prior communication or appointment while I was reading. I indicated that the landlord was not welcome and ordered him to leave the room. The landlord did not respond and tried to push through me. The landlord tried with all his strength to enter the room, shouting loudly “I want to ask you something. I want to ask you something." During the removal of the landlord both my arms were injured, for which a report was made by a GP.

The Utrecht police did not take the report of violent trespassing serious and kept repeating (illogically) that I reported "poisoning" while I had never mentioned the word poisoning and clearly indicated in at least 10 contact moments both by telephone and email that I reported abuse.

The police report contained several quirks such as the statement that I was 'puzzling' in my room when the landlord violently entered my room while I had clearly communicated during the report that I was reading.

When I indicated to the police officer during the telephone report that I had a dependent accommodation (meaning without a private bathroom) she replied “Oh, assisted living for psychiatric patients?”. The police officer also repeated the then repeatedly corrected mistake that I was reporting "poisoning" which she seemed to do on purpose.

The police appeared to attempt to intimidate me by treating me with unnatural disrespect.

Court sides with landlord 

The court illogically sided with the abusive landlord who destroyed all my personal belongings, inflicted multiple personal injuries on me, began a major rennovation without an appointment and illegally refused to provide replacement housing.

I was ordered to pay the landlord thousands of euros in legal fees and I lost my home. Even a relocation allowance according to the official standard was rejected.


Chapter 13 

Absurdities in a student house

I found a student room on the Oudwijkerdwarsstraat in Utrecht through an organization that is connected to the municipality. What followed eventually turned out to be a very bad period.

The student house I ended up in was used by employees of the organization.

Initially there were two female housemates who were respectful and with whom there was good contact.

However, after several months, one of the employees was fired so that she had to return to Spain and the other – a data scientist at the student organization – left for Greece. A new tenant came and the other room remained empty for some time.

The new tenant behaved absurdly disrespectful from day one. The person in question appeared to be a young soldier from a country in South America who spent his time playing shooting games and who seemed to drink ‘too much’ in the evenings. He was half my height.

On the first day he arrived, he followed me downstairs after I got out of the shower, yelling loudly “Hey! Hey! Can you clean the toilet? Can you clean the toilet?”.

When I replied that I hadn't used the toilet and closed my door he then literally kept knocking on my door for minutes.

He then wrote “Clean The Toilet!!!!!!!” on the board in big red crochet letters and that message stayed on the board for weeks.

It turned out that the new tenant had removed the carpet from the shower and that water was left on the floor. So it wasn't about the toilet.

I found the carpet hidden in a strange place. The carpet was dry and I put it back. Then the tenant immediately removes the carpet again and I found the carpet in a different place. I put the carpet back again and then it stayed but the message on the board stayed for weeks.

More strange behavior would follow.

In the first days after arrival, the tenant placed a sharp knife on the shelf above the toilet. That knife would stay there for a week until I put it away.

The tenant urinated on the toilet seat and he made an absurdly serious filth of the kitchen including rotting meat that was left all day.

The tenant repeatedly placed smelly garbage in front of my room.

I had respectfully warned the tenant several times that placing trash in the hallway was not allowed. I even once delivered the trash to his room door and told him to keep it in his room. I also gave the tenant a push when he wanted to move the garbage that I had put in front of his door back into the hallway while I was standing there. He then left the heavily smelly garbage in the kitchen.

Despite the warnings and incidents, the tenant still continued to place trash in front of my room door.

Then when I moved the trash to a closet space, he took the trash out again and put it back in front of my door and he removed the key to the closet space.

One day he sprayed violently smelly toilet cleaner on the carpet and on the stairs at the location where I sometimes read, which is very toxic and harmful to health.

In the communication with the organization that would follow, they were talked into it and it became clear that the organization was behind the disrespectful behavior of the tenant.

Given the then known history with my house on Springweg, it is strange that an organization affiliated with the municipality would do such a thing.


Chapter 14 

Underhand threat in Utrecht

The disrespectful behavior in the student residence on Oudwijkerdwarsstraat took place during a period when there was a covert threat in Utrecht.

At an eco-event in Utrecht in March 2021, someone threatened that he would 'shoot down' the young women there, which was nonsensical.

I experienced a paranormal threat from at least 40 people for a week after that incident regarding the word 'shoot down'. I also saw some people I recognized who seemed happy that something was done to me as if it would give social justification for their involvement in what had happened during the attack on my home on Springweg.

I was only staying in the dorm room at the time and I didn't read any news so I couldn't have known what was going on. The paranormal threat lasted for a week and did not diminish in severity and only then did I find the news report of the incident.

As can be seen in the following image of the incident, a woman poses similar to the icon of the then popular eco-project www.e-scooter.co of which I am the founder.

Photo of the threat incident at an eco-event in Utrecht

Business relation from America 

In the months before the incident, I was in contact with a business contact from America. In contact with that person I mentally experienced the threat in Dutch “I'm going to shoot you 'down'” and later shortly before the incident “I shoot”.

My company hadn't taken on clients for over a year even though the website was still online. The business contact at the end of 2021 was a high exception whose request I accepted while until then I had already structurally denied almost a thousand requests from potential customers.

Because there was only a single business contact, there was a mental overview. At that time I was really only studying philosophy.

The business contact had a small insurance business in America.

Warning from Google 

During the contact with the business partner, Google showed me remarkable ads on all the websites I visited, which Google did for months, equal to the length of the business contact's existence.

The ad was for ‘Hunger in America’.

‘Hunger in America’ advertisement on all websites and even on a mobile phone, for months

There was no logical explanation for the ad—for at least five months, regularly three ads on one page and on all the websites I visited in a day (as many as a thousand pages sometimes).

It appeared to be a warning and the ad clearly appeared to be related to the business contact from America.

Sometimes the ad stayed active for a whole day and even appeared on my mobile phone. On some days the ad was not shown.

Paranormal vision of a folder with a plan 

I was standing in front of the desk in my dorm room when a paranormal vision suddenly dawned on me. The vision showed a person presenting a folder decorated with orange ornaments with a plan to a figure who was totally invisible.

In the vision, the person in question briefly looked back in my direction before handing over the folder. The intent I could derive from that is that the dark figure was reassured that I couldn't see him.

The next morning I received a second vision of a room with rows of desks in which an ordinary folder with a plan was distributed to apparently people at the municipality or the police.

The visions were totally unrelated to my life or pursuits.

Psychologically I am really very stable and controlled. I was busy studying philosophy so I didn't have time to just have some weird vision that wouldn't make sense.

A week after the vision, the nonsensical threat incident would follow at the eco event.

I basically never have psychic visions so the vision I got was a high exception in, say, months of time. The only explanation seems to be that the vision had to do with the threat incident.

Three times is a charm 

  1. The mental influence of the Dutch-speaking business contact from America who used the same word as during the threat incident, which is not a logical word for threatening some young women.

  2. The paranormal threat intent from many people that I experienced for a week immediately after the incident while I did not yet know about the incident.

  3. A psychic vision a week before the incident in which someone offers a special folder of a plan to an invisible figure and the following day a vision in which an ordinary folder of a plan was distributed to several people in a room with rows of desks.

That there had been a covert threat in collaboration with the municipality was certain from my perspective.


Chapter 15 

Exemplary function of the government

In the months following the underhand threat, I felt very bad, not because of a personal threat but because of the government's exemplary role and therefore the fact that others were being endangered.

How could my sense of responsibility for using reason to turn evil into good, and my personal nature to settle only for the best, resolve the situation?

I decided to discuss the topic on a philosophy forum.

(2021) “A fish rots from the top down” – exemplary function of the government A recent FBI study has shown that most perpetrators of mass shootings have no mental health problems. The perpetrators therefore apparently act with a motive. What could that motive be? Source: onlinephilosophyclub.com

There is an epidemic of mass shootings in America, which may be partly caused by the fact that many people sincerely believe that the government carried out the 9/11 attack. The government has an important exemplary role.

An American politician with whom I later had contact regarding her work in the investigation of the 9/11 attack in America showed that situations can lead to the government being branded as a ‘terrorist organization’ (an evil party). The politician is a member of the Green Party and is a director of an organization.

My advice to her was to keep focus on how it should be. Not fighting against injustice or an evil party, but fighting for something that can be said to be ‘good’.

I asked her the following questions about her work:

As for the truth about the 9/11 attack. Would it be possible to share the motive for your personal commitment?

I became a political activist in the wake of watching the film JFK and doing research on the CIA. I was outraged and felt I should do something to challenge a policy which tortures, kills, and terrorizes people.

Would it be possible to describe the intended outcome of your work?

Just raising consciousness and awareness. At this point, hopefully more people will not buy all the propaganda deluging us on Covid19. If you were at our website, you will see that we did include a talk and film on Covid19 in our last big annual event.

Our mission statement is- to seek and disseminate truths about the terrible crimes committed on September 11, 2001, exposing gaps and deceptions in the official story. Our goal is to inspire more eyewitness revelations, truthful media coverage, and a movement that will bring the responsible criminals to justice and eliminate governmental and corporate policies that enable criminal elements to commit such acts.

In the case that the Government has performed the attack, what would (or should) it imply?

I think it implies that our government IS a terrorist organization. While, we are mere citizens; we should not condone or support its more murderous activities. Although, I think the guns are now being pointed at us.

Most people would like to put their head in the sand and are obediently going along with the manufactured reality blasted at them constantly by the media.

It sounds like you have crossed some line to be a target in the Great Game…

I replied with the following, which reflects my perspective.

With regard the declaration of the Government as a ‘terrorist organization’. While I understand that it is a natural aim or goal, from the perspective of results it may be best to have a clear vision of how it should be.

The idea that the Government is a terrorist organization may not lead to favorable results.

A saying in Russia is “a fish rots from the top down“.

Such a wisdom translated to the general nature of people makes it logical that people are inclined to denounce information that promote the idea that the Government is a terrorist organization. People (in general) logically are ought (or feel inclined) to do what matters for maintaining a peaceful mind, which is essential for stability and progress.

Is ‘truth’ more important than what matters for prosperous existence of individual humans and people? Without the (terrorist) Government, what ‘truth’ would there be left to be important for them?

To remove the potential for contention, the higher purpose of people will need to be served.

I understand that from the perspective of investigative journalism, one simply intends to fulfill his/her job as good as possible and unmasking truth is in a sense the highest purpose, while one humbly withholds from telling people how they should live or think.

To achieve results with regard to ‘prevention of terrorism‘, it may be important to discover the root of the fact that the Government performed terrorism.

I recently read the following:

There is an old saying in Washington that the cover-up is worse than the crime.

Conventional wisdom in Washington has it that the cover-up is always worse than the crime.

This appears to be evidence that a certain morality within the Government is likely to be possible. One then simply needs to find the root of the problem, which may provide insights for experts of how it can be ensured that the Government follows a righteous path.

Yours Sincerely,


Chapter 16 

Paranormal Experiences

Although in principle I did not want to address paranormal matters in this book, it was not possible not to mention the underhand threat during my stay in the student house on the Oudwijkerdwarsstraat. That is why I describe some paranormal experiences that took place during the attack on my home on the Springweg so that it is clear what happened. The rest is described on www.psyreporter.com.

It is not possible to simply believe paranormal experiences, but I had already had several paranormal experiences so that I knew that the experience was authentic.

I'm actually not paranormally gifted myself. The paranormal experiences I've had always came 'just like that'. I've never talked about it in my past. It wasn't until 2021 that I would first describe paranormal experiences as part of the investigation into the background of the attack on my home on the Springweg.

Dark phantom 

I mentally sensed that the business contact from America I interacted with in the months before the underhand threat had also been involved in the attack on my home in 2019.

My home on Springweg was directly across from the headquarters of Institute of Parapsychology Netherlands, an organization that investigates paranormal phenomena.

During the attack on my house I was once sitting on the toilet when I suddenly had a paranormal vision of the landlord who with an exuberant twisting movement of his body from attention for me turned towards a ‘dark phantom’ with whom he conspired and asked the question ‘now?’.

The dark phantom then backed away to preserve his darkness, and he reacted shyly with a negative reply. Then the landlord became indignant because he had gone to so much trouble to get me onto the street.

As the dark phantom retreated, his fear betrayed the reason for his negative response. It resulted in a view that various parties had received attention for the situation and in particular older British people within an intelligence service who were 'not happy' with what was going on.

At that time I had become a member of a philosophy forum for several months on which many veterans from the intelligence community are active. It occurred to me at that moment that that could have been the explanation.

I had seen the 'dark phantom' in question many times before.

In the years before the landlord made an absurd false suspicion and threat of a police raid in 2018, I saw the same dark phantom try to approach the landlord. In the visions, however, the landlord refused to talk to him, which gave me the impression that the landlord was protecting me and that he would not cooperate with corruption.

Just before the absurd false suspicion and threat of a police raid in 2018 and later during the attack on my home, there was a vision of the same dark phantom.

The visions always came ‘just like that’ and in fact seemed to be imposed because the visions were unrelated to what I was actually thinking.

I have no explanation for the visions but the authenticity has been proven, which does not imply that I will take ‘alleged’ paranormal visions seriously in the future, but that there could be authenticity in paranormal visions of that I have obtained certainty.

Evidence for paranormal experiences? 

A director of a CIA program at the Stanford Research Institute (SRI) in Menlo Park, California said the following:

In my experience and according to most other researchers, it appears that an experienced psychic can answer any question that has an answer. I cannot wait to see what the future holds when we fully open the doors of our perception! It is time to accept the gift of psychic abilities. The hardware is fine; it’s the software that must be upgraded—and quickly.

In 2019 the film Third Eye Spies was released which can now be viewed for free on YouTube that talks about the use of so-called Remote Viewing or 'distant awareness' by the government.

Remote Viewing allows for both long-distance, forward- and back-in-time viewing based on “conscious experience” and it appears that sometimes even the least experienced individuals can achieve the best results in tests conducted by the CIA.

In America there are now Remote Viewing conferences where groups of ordinary people can participate in an experiment and sometimes achieve good results.

There is even an official International Remote Viewing Association (IRVA) that has set itself the task of ensuring responsible use of Remote Viewing.


While science cannot explain consciousness and may never be able to do so for fundamental philosophical reasons, there is research being done into psychic phenomena.

Russell Targ of Palo Alto, California, a physicist and retired senior scientist from the well-known US defense firm Lockheed-Martin wrote the book The Reality of ESP in 2012 describing successful investigations into the paranormal.


Parapsychology is a field of science and although it is suppressed today, it could become an important field of research in the future.

My house on the Springweg was directly opposite the Institute of Parapsychology Netherlands that researches paranormal phenomena in the Netherlands.


Chapter 17 

Paranormal dream of the future as a child

When I was 15 years old I went to sleep early and shortly before I went to sleep I saw a part of nature.

That night I had a very strange dream experience in which I saw my future +20 years ahead in time.

I woke up in the middle of the night in an intense state of fear, trapped in a strange mental state where I seemed to experience a lot of time in a kind of 'single memory'.

I had never experienced such a thing and there was no occasion for such a thing. I wasn't sick and I didn't use alcohol or drugs at that age.

Many aspects of the dream eventually turned out to have happened. The visions from the dream were not exact images, but the 'meaning' of the visions corresponded to what I would later experience.

The vision of a part of nature shortly before I went to sleep 

The vision shortly before I went to sleep showed a stream of particles like a kind of wavy and infinite cloth accompanied by a kind of sound that is comparable in retrospect to the unintelligible combined voice of thousands of people sharing an emotion. From the sound I could deduce that the particles were alive and the expression of their being was the hallmark of 'pure happiness'.

The particles seemed to move faster and faster by which I was as it were taken along by the particles while I fell asleep almost immediately.

I did not seek the vision myself and I was not engaged in anything like that before I went to bed. The decision to go to sleep came from a strange gut feeling when I stood next to my bed where the feeling was strange because it was very early at that time and I had never gone to sleep that early.

I climbed into my bed in a single movement when I was caught by the vision while I was still suspended in mid-air and it was as if I was already asleep when my back reached the mattress.

Intense state of fear and a plane disaster 

I had woken up in an intense fear and I experienced a plane 'upside down' on my head. It seemed to be a plane disaster.

The plane was not physically on my head but it was as if my mind was present in the same space-time space as 'an airplane' turned upside down and where I could see through the roof of the plane so my head was below the aircraft with that aircraft turned upside down. In addition, I was stuck in that 'dynamic vision' and there was an intense state of fear.

My father walked into the bathroom and I told him about my then current experience of the plane on my head. My father logically must have thought that I was hallucinating.

Retracing the content of the dream 

The next day I thought briefly about the dream and what it could mean. Perhaps I did know that the dream had shown the future, although I did not consciously think about it that way at the time.

I played back the contents of the dream and looked at the various things I had seen.

One of the aspects of the vision was a room above a store in a big city like New York where I lived that exploded like in a movie as I looked at the room from the outside. A detail of that vision is increasing clarity where it seemed like time slowed down and I could see the particles of the dust from the explosion and know where the particles would fall. I could also rewind and continue the vision of the explosion in my mind.

At that moment I was standing in my bedroom facing the wall and after viewing that part of the dream I decided to put it behind me and forget it.

I was only 15 years old and the content of the dream was related to 20 years in the future so it was irrelevant, if at all. I wasn't one to take paranormal matters seriously.

I would forever forget the experience and only have it in mind during moments when aspects of the dream actually occurred. Often it was only in a retro perspective that I realized that what had happened had matched the content of the dream.

The dream contained chronological context information, which at times confirmed that the content of the dream had matched my future experience.

Since then I've wondered how the vision of an exploding room above a store in a big city could become a reality, and of course I hoped it wouldn't.

In hindsight, the room on the Springweg was exactly like the room from my dream. The room was located above a luxury clothing store and the room would later figuratively explode after the attack on my home in 2019.

The room was directly opposite the headquarters of the Institute of Parapsychology Netherlands that investigates paranormal phenomena.

Explanation or meaning of the dream 

I critically investigated the MH17 airplane attack as a forerunner.

As a child I lived in a village that was the center stage of WWII and yearly veterans from USA and UK would visit.

(2021) Veterans Today: MH17 airplane attack was a false flag operation Already in 2014, shortly after the attack, veterans criticized the course of the investigation. An official publication in 2021 called the attack a false flag operation. Important: What happened to air traffic controller Carlos who had the courage to stand up for the truth? How did the Air India 113 pilots and Indian journalists fare after they showed the Indian ministry lied about MH17? Source: Veterans Today (PDF)

No interest in the ‘paranormal’ 

As a child I was not interested or exposed to paranormal or spiritual matters and I was quite sober.

When I was 17 years old, I consciously explored the subject 'paranormal' for the first time.

The wife of a befriended police couple who I regularly babysat for their children was a psychic therapist and started the website paranormal.com (in Dutch) in which I was involved as webmaster.

I didn't believe in the paranormal myself and was simply respectful of people who did. There was no disbelief, just lack of faith where I was open to the idea that some people have special gifts.

Because of my involvement as webmaster of the website paranormal.com, I once tried in my attic to experience an 'out-of-body experience'. I tried to go with my mind from my bed to the house of the befriended police couple. However, that was not successful and I decided to leave my 'exploration of the paranormal' at that.

A short time later, I looked shortly before going to sleep at a small poster of Posh Spice girl hanging by the foot of my bed.

The Spice girls were at their peak at the time and Posh Spice girl resembled a girl I had been in love with and who became one of my best friends.

That night followed an intense dream where it was as if my mind actually met Posh Spice girl while walking in an airport. Posh Spice girl seemed to react to my presence and then I was taken to an event. When I woke up, the poster was half detached from the wall even though the poster had been hanging on the wall for many months.

I thought at that point if it was theoretically possible that I had kicked the poster off the wall with my feet, but that was physically impossible. Also, there was no wind at the particular location in the middle of the room.

It was about the most paranormal thing I'd experienced from my perspective at the time, all the while naturally tending to look for an alternative explanation and consider it a coincidence. I had already forgotten the dream from when I was 15 years old.

When I was in my early twenties, I covered the subject of 'paranormal' one more time and decided that it was unhealthy and that I would stick with the normal. It was a personal choice.

I never returned to the subject of paranormal experience.

Whenever I had a psychic premonition of any kind, then I thought maybe it could come from my talent for logical reasoning and my natural tendency to explore as many different perspectives as possible, and maybe it was helpful to see it as such and to be taken into consideration, but otherwise not important.

My normal dream for the future as a child 

My greatest talent was logical reasoning. When I was 16-17 years old, I often woke up with a full understanding of complex subjects.

My future dream at that age was to one day solve the most complex problem using my mind.


Chapter 18 

Departure from Utrecht

I decided to leave Utrecht.

I contacted my younger brother who I had not seen for years and he picked me up with his Volvo XC90 all-terrain vehicle and a trailer.

My brother now had a family and he had taken over our father's forestry business. He was trained and his arms were at least twice the size of mine, even though I was rowing 15 kilometers every day and so my arms were certainly not slim.

My brother looked well groomed and his heavy build suited someone who works in the forestry industry. He had a well-kept black beard that matched his face to the image of a forester.

It was very nice to finally leave the bad period in the student house on the Oudwijkerdwarsstraat behind me.

Despite the nasty period that had taken place that previous year, I was going to miss Utrecht. In principle I would have liked to live there for 30 years.

What had happened seemed to have had no social basis among the people of Utrecht. There had never been an incident and I was always treated very kindly by basically everyone I met, and not in a special way but just 'normally' the way everyone else was treated.

I found the normal respect that there seemed to be between people in Utrecht very beautiful and it seemed to be very special.

I regularly cycled to more distant areas of the city where I sometimes approached people to ask for directions so that I could experience a little bit of the friendliness of the people in the city.

Resistance Monument

For example, there were no cameras on the streets in the city center. Often young women walked alone through the streets and the small alleys of the city. On the square in front of the Dom church in the center was a statue of a female leader that seemed to represent the nature of Utrecht. I felt at home there because of the respectful nature of the people, which allowed people from different backgrounds to be appreciated as they are.

There was no anger or disappointment in me when I left the city. What had happened had been absurd and, from my perspective, was separate from the city of Utrecht and my stay in the city.

I would return to a wooded area. That had originally been the plan before I moved to Utrecht, so in that respect the original plan was picked up again.


Chapter 19 

Reconnected with my brother

My brother had changed a lot during the time I hadn't seen him. By now he had a family and he was owner of a forestry company with many employees.

My brother worked with the forestry company in Berlin for, among others, the Ministry of Defense of Germany, and he was now doing the registrations and maintaining business contacts himself while my father was moving to the background.

My brother mentioned that he had once been on a business meeting in a building where Chancellor Angela Merkel was also present and he sometimes did the maintenance of parks in Berlin where there was a lot of attention to detail and where every little twig on the ground was noticed.

My brother was now stability itself and he led larger forestry projects with many employees in one of the largest cities in Europe.

I couldn't help but be proud to see what my brother had accomplished. However, I told him that there would only be a real difficult management situation when the company was twice as big.

Just as Albert Einstein was once expelled from school and dismissed by teachers as not sociable, mentally slow and unfit for university and refused entry to the university Zürich Polytechnic, the recorded history of my brother as a child also seems to show that it is not possible is to predict how a child will develop and that apparent problems can lead to major benefits later in life.

I am glad that my parents did not harm my brother after their divorce period and that he was given the opportunity to develop at home.


Chapter 20 

Long stay in hotel

I ended up in a hotel where I stayed for a period of six months. There I continued my philosophy study and read many books on leadership.

After reading the book True North by the new ‘father of leadership’ Bill George, I was inspired to process what had happened in Utrecht into a new concept with the aim of giving a good turn to what had happened.

The first concept became www.psyreporter.com, a philosophical initiative that aims to bring about more serious consideration for paranormal phenomena.

The explanation for what had happened in Utrecht was traced to my critical position regarding GMO (eugenics on nature) which is related to Nazi ideology. That led to a concept for nature conservation butterflyGMOdebate.org.

Although I could acquiesce in the thought that 'evil' lends itself for protecting nature against GMO (eugenics on nature) for which I was willing to personally have a little less ease in life, it seemed that an other explanation must be sought for the role of Justice.

The case was therefore not yet closed, but only converted into something that is beneficial to nature.

It started with a crime by my parents and a corrupt judge, followed by more and more corruption from Justice in an attempt to protect a corrupt judge. Then there was the situation in Utrecht with an absurdly serious display of corruption of Justice for which there is no explanation to date.

Investigation into the background of the attack on my home 

I started an investigation into the background of the attack on my home and the cause was traced to my critical position with regard to GMO.

It all started with a national cola TV ad after I had reported about GMO in Coca Cola. Shortly after that TV ad a flood of nonsensical negative 0-⭐ reviews for a popular WordPress optimization plugin followed, then to be followed by a plugin ban after a moderator performed an absurd slander attack to which I had responded decently, turning it into a true mystery. Subsequently, Rabobank, a fortune 500 bank with its headquarter in Utrecht invested into my business to sabotage it and that directly (chronologically) preceded the attack on my home.

WordPress plugin ban 

The ban in 2016 of a popular WordPress optimization plugin with 20,000 professional users was a true ‘mystery’. The ban followed after I posted a neat written message that I had been treated ‘unkind’ by WordPress moderation, which was the case as is evident in the following comment by a user:

WordPress plugin ban mystery user comment Reflection on the plugin ban by a plugin user

As it appears, such an action was never done before. The preceding ‘disrespectful’ action came completely out of the blue.

In 2016, high quality free support was being provided to users of the plugin. This included more comprehensive service by logging in to their website for help, for which users where very thankful.

The WordPress.org support forum displayed a history of high quality free support and users that were very happy with that.

Suddenly, out of the blue and without an apparent reason or motive, a WordPress moderator performed a slander attack.

The moderator replaced a polite signature under support messages with a link to a WordPress anti-spam policy text that stated that “advertising in topics unrelated to your own plugins or themes is not allowed” and he did it with an angry attitude.

The following signature was replaced by a link to an anti-spam policy text.

Best Regards,
Jan Jaap

There was no warning. It was clear instantly that the action was not related to the signature itself, as the moderator ignored the same signature by other users. Almost all users were using a similar signature, which is simply a polite part of communication, and the linked policy text stated that it was allowed to advertise on the forum as a plugin or theme author, so even a small advertisement would have been allowed.

The moderator spent several hours to replace the signature in 100 posts. It was therefore a remarkable action and it made it look as if severe spam had been removed.

Initially my decision was to try to undo the smearing effect by posting a polite reply to the moderator stating the fact that a plain signature was removed. That reply was first blocked and later deleted by the moderator and the WordPress account was blocked for 8 days so that I couldn’t respond.

The moderator was aggressive and angry. That didn’t make sense after coming from a long period of providing high quality free support to users.

Nothing wrong with the plugin

In June 2019, Google published a link to a new version of the plugin on their official documentation at https://developers.google.com/web/ and one of the optimization company’s last customers for a paid installation of the plugin is Vice President of Mastercard who said that he knew what happened with regard a saboteur from Hollywood later discussed in this book. That proves that nothing was wrong with the company or with the plugin.

GMO in Coca Cola 

Shortly before the WordPress plugin ban mystery I had reported about the fact that Coca Cola attempted to hide that they used GMO in their products, which also led me to the discovery of atrocities performed by the company (the murder of union organizers).

(2022) Stop Killer Coke Campaign The Campaign Stop Killer Coke intends to hold The Coca-Cola Company accountable and to end the gruesome cycle of violence. These atrocities include the systematic intimidation, kidnapping, torture and murder of union leaders and members of their families in efforts to crush their unions. Source: killercoke.org (2022) The Coca-Cola Case (documentary film) Coca-Cola may be one of the most visible brands in the world, but there's one part of their operations they don't want you to see. Source: thecoca-colacase.org (2014) The Coca Cola Killings: How Soft Drink Corp Murders Unionists Did we mention that Coca Cola has a long and dark history of sending its militias after workers who dare to demand better conditions? The corporation also stands accused of union-busting in Pakistan, Nicaragua and Guatemala to name a few. In Turkey allegations of intimidation, human rights abuses and the beating of union activists abound. In addition, a former Coca Cola business partner claimed the company has illegitimate dealings with Uzbekistan’s authoritarian government. Source: True Activist

The national TV advertisement showed a group of friends with Utrecht characteristics drinking cola and eating pop corn in front of a TV. The sense arose by the ad that there was ‘something’ about the cola, although it appeared to be a normal advertisement (the sense was created because it was such a normal ad).

Brazilian TV ad

In February 2021 there were Brazilian Coca Cola video ads (Google AdSense) on www.e-scooter.co of which I am owner that showed an almost identical TV ad of a Brazilian group of friends, drinking cola and eating pop corn in front of a TV, and then a big spider crawling in the high corner of the room after which the group of people started to scream in fear, after which the ad ended.

It was striking that Coca Cola video advertisements were shown. After all, I am not a user of the product and my IP is known to Google. I do not view websites in Portuguese (Brazilian) language. The video started to play automatically.

Watching TV?

I never watched TV and I didn’t own a TV. By accident, a house mate of the house where I lived departed and asked whether I wanted his TV. It was a big and modern flat screen TV that I then installed on the wall after which I experienced a period of continuous TV. During this time, I noticed the ‘cola’ TV ad.


Lori Harfenist theresident.net With regard my reporting about GMO in Coca-Cola (and other brands). I had been following a critical reporter from New York, Lori Harfenist (www.theresident.net), who has been an inspiration for me. She reported about GMO in Coca Cola after which I learned that Coca Cola tried to hide it from the public, which caused me (in the form of the critical blog Zielenknijper.nl) to become interested.

The movie The Resident (2011) with Hilary Swank is potentially inspired by her.

Sabotage by Rabobank 

After the cola TV ad, Rabobank, a fortune 500 investment bank with its headquarter in Utrecht, the Netherlands, invested into my business to sabotage it. That directly (chronologically) preceded all of what happened with the attack on my home in Utrecht, the Netherlands.

Rabobank is dedicated to food security and GMO and is known as ‘farmers bank’. The bank has adapted the slogan “Growing a better world together” and presents itself as an environmentally friendly bank. In 2017 the bank won the “Green Bond Award”.

It is evident that the Rabobank attempted to sabotage my business. Without providing a reason, the Rabobank investor closed a 6 months old startup company and gave up their € 45,000 Euro investment. There was simply no logical reason to give up their investment. They closed the startup company after 6 months, the originally planned time for R&D, in which my company had delivered an exceptional result, in time.

The project ŵš.com could have been worth a billion USD. It was seriously watched by over 100.000 people. (cutting edge innovation)

The technology promised to provide true instant website speed for mobile and desktop with navigation speeds as fast as less than 1 millisecond (0,001 second), faster than the refresh rate of many gaming displays. On top of that, the technology could provide +90% of real HTML data-transfer saving and it would provide in new features for the internet, such as ‘real-time HTML’.

real time html

Many top engineers would say that what the technology promised to deliver was impossible.

In 2016, Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) would provide a technology named Polaris that promised 34% speed improvement for the internet.

(2016) MIT has a way to speed up web browsing by 34 percent Massachusetts Institute of Technology has developed a technology named Polaris that could make mobile and desktop web browsing about 34 percent faster. Source: Engadget

In 2016, the ŵš.com technology would provide a real +1000% speed improvement for mobile and desktop, reliably, for existing websites such as WordPress, and plug & play (5 minute install).

The ŵš.com technology worked far better than expected and technically the project was a big success.

Instead of being happy, the Rabobank investor illogically walked away and gave up their € 45,000 Euro investment, without providing a reason.

There was simply no logical reason to give up their investment.

Shortly after Rabobank walked away without providing a reason, a business partner from Hollywood, USA joined the project who invested a sum on behalf of an investment banker in Massachusetts, USA. Utrecht is known as the film city of the Netherlands, similar to Hollywood.

“Billionaire joke” to waste time on purpose

The business partner from Hollywood took on a role as CEO and agreed to be responsible for the business model. He spent two years to travel around the USA to meet with billionaires while he demanded me and a business partner from London to wait and ultimately delivered no results and simply walked away as if he never cared about the project.

The email address of his film equipment company website was set to ‘info@billionairesclub.com’.

In one of his last emails he shared a link on Forbes.com with the headline that 9 out of 10 startups fail and sought excuse with Rembrandt van Gogh who ‘died poor’ only to become famous later, and inventor Tesla who had a similar fate.

In one of my last emails to him, I communicated the following:


I understand that you are now trying to walk away, leaving behind your investment, while having no argument against me or the technology. You try to make it look as a generous action from your side, but it’s not righteous.

A few months ago you held on firmly to your CEO position when asked friendly, while considering that your functioning as CEO had increasingly become questioned for lack of results and broken promises, if you wanted to leave. Months of waiting followed. New promises were unmet again. Due to little to no communication from your side it has been perceived as “waiting for no reason”.

In essence, a full year of time has been wasted for no apparent reason and there has been no indication that it matters to you.

It is simply not righteous to now walk away as if a 9 out of 10 startup failed

Slack conversation Slack conversation E-mail conversation E-mail conversation

As can be seen, I maintained a respectful attitude towards the business partner and there was no conflict other than a dispute about his performance.

In the beginning of the business relation, in internal communication with the business partner it was established that I perceived Rabobank to have been the culprit and I was then seriously warned that taking on against a fortune 500 company such as the Rabobank would not be wise, by which I received the impression that they might be involved with Rabobank as well.

It is only logical that with the exposing of the business partner as a saboteur (who invested a sum on behalf of an investment banker in Massachusetts, USA) that the logical (unspoken) conclusion would be in 2018/2019 that Rabobank was behind that malicious business practices as well. They played a 'billionaire' joke on a project to waste time on purpose, then walked away again (leaving their investment behind) 'for no reason'.

Considering the whole situation, it is only logical that the Rabobank, considering its business link with me and its head quarter in Utrecht, at least has had some influence or oversight over what happened with the attack on my home in Utrecht.

All's well that ends well? 

In a retro perspective, the situation that has played out has been instrumental in drawing attention to actual murder practices by the Coca-Cola company. Perhaps the situation ultimately prevented the murder of people in countries in South America and elsewhere.

In addition, the situation has led to an initiative to promote a critical examination of GMO, which can be of vital importance for nature.

There are parties that have indicated that they hoped there would be an initiative to connect morality with the life sciences. The concept of butterflyGMOdebate.org offers, among other things, a philosophical perspective on morality.

Renowned author and professor of history Walter Isaacson, president of the Aspen Institute and CEO of CNN, stated the following in an interview:

It is going to be a life sciences century. People who are able to harness the technologies of the life sciences and connect it to our moral understanding, to our humanities, those will be the people that will dominate the twentyfirst century and I am hoping a grand figure will come along who will represent that.

Chapter 21 


In 2021 and 2022, my parents stubbornly denied what they had done, using nonsensical lies.

As an example, I asked my mother why she did not inform me about the psychiatric admission by slipping a letter under my door to which she responded with the following:

What should we have done? Slide a note under your door? Would you have read it?

It's a nonsensical apology. There is no basis for the idea that I would not be able to read or that I should not be informed about a psychiatric admission.

Later on, my parents will deny having had anything to do with the PGB and disability benefit that they had applied for in my name against my will and under threat of a declaration of insanity.

After half a year of ignoring my question what is wrong in my story and dismissing my story as a reproach, my mother communicated the following nonsensical lies.

We have NOT applied for disability benefit for you and the PGB also passed us by. That accusation has been wrongly brought before us. This is an example of what's wrong.

It was requested for you at the time, but Dad and I didn't want it for you, so we quickly canceled it. If it still went through through that other person, then we don't know.

Lying about the PGB and disability benefit fraud was a real threat to me. People who are capable of such fraud and who lie about it to save their own skin, and people who have done so much harm to me in the past, are potentially capable of more. That had to be prevented.

I did my best to close it myself. Communicatively, my parents were pretty much trapped and there had been no comment on my story.

When my mother suggested confessing in 2022 and asked if everything would be okay again, I immediately took the opportunity.

I wrote a confession for my mother and I suggested that if she signed it, I would contact a professional psychotherapist to advise on handling the relation.

My only interest was to come to a good closure and to undo the threat emanating from my parents.

Unfortunately, my mother backed out. She asked what I was going to do with the confession and said she was afraid of revenge.

No revenge, you write, it looks very different.

I responded with the following which reflects my intent:

The unreasonable denial of what you've done to me - like lying about PGB and disability benefits - keeps it current. That is why it is important that you recognize what you have done so that the past can be closed.

My mother wouldn't sign the confession.

I'm really not a vengeful person.

In fact, in 2021 at the beginning of email contact, I had made up my mind to leave my parents in peace, no matter what they have done or would do, and close the situation.

As an alternative solution, I considered settling for a psychotherapist's reading my story about the injustice, where a sincere reflection on the injustice might be enough for me to put it behind me for good.

I was mainly concerned with the threat that logically arose because of the lying about the fraud with PGB and disability benefit.

After contacting at least twenty psychotherapists, including following the referral, no psychotherapist was willing or able to help me, usually because they found my case too complex.

I then decided to write a book to provide openness and thus to undo the threat from my parents because of lying about the fraud with a PGB and disability benefit.

Domain Zielenknijper.nl stolen 

Subsequently, it turned out that the domain Zielenknijper.nl had been stolen because the domain had not been included in the list of domains after a move to Openprovider.nl due to a technical problem and had, for some inexplicable reason, expired only a few months after the move.

In June 2022, when the domain Zielenknijper.nl was moved, I spent more than 500 euros to commit dozens of domains for more than 10 years. For example, the domain GMODebate.org is committed through 2032.

The technical problem previously occurred with another domain and was resolved by Openprovider.nl. At Zielenknijper.nl, the technical problem was unfortunately overlooked, so that the domain was lost two months after the transfer.

Openprovider.nl immediately closed the support ticket with a neutral statement that the domain was lost. There was no apology and no sign that they were feeling bad by what had happened. Several replies to the ticket were ignored in the days after.

The domain authority SIDN announced that they can't do anything and that a lawsuit should be started... With Justice as a villainous enemy, that seems hopeless...

It was then decided to publish a free e-book on the new domain Zielenknijper.com.

Learned through injustice? 

As author of a critical blog on psychiatry I had experience with people who were victim of sometimes the most grave injustice, such as enforced electro shock therapy. I believe that by critically speaking for those people - to show a path of intellect and reason - it could enable those people to keep true to an ethical nature, and (ultimately) to feel better than the evil doers that caused injustice to them.

I believe that the blog may have prevented many people from seeking violent revenge.

Reason and intellect is a higher good than revenge.

Modern man is to be expected to evolve beyond barbaric practices such as war and revenge if it intends to secure longer term prosperity. Intelligence before practice means overcoming darkness before it was ever present, and thus, to prevent war and revenge in favour of reason.